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Coffee Shop Commandments

November 18th, 2008  |  Posted by: Mayonaze  | 5 Comments

bodum%20french%20press%20coffee%20maker%20chambord%20big Coffee Shop CommandmentsI drink coffee not because it tastes good but because I’m an addict.

That means I need to brew coffee at home and purchase coffee ready to drink from coffee shops.  You know what I mean by coffee shop; most of them are named after a character from Moby Dick.

Since coffee is life and death, buying it is life and death too.  I need to go into a coffee shop, get my “fix” and leave before I start showing signs of withdrawing.  I can’t afford any delays or annoyances.

Surprisingly, I’ve found that despite a rash of inappropriate tattoos and more metal on their face than C-3PO, the average baristas is actually fast and competent.  My negative experiences with coffee shop employees have actually been few and far between.

Frustrating experiences with ignorant coffee drinkers have also been rare.  I understand ordering coffee can be intimidating and involved.  I have no problem if a neophyte needs to ask questions, even obvious ones.

However, most of my negative experiences in coffee shops are the fault of other coffee drinkers—customers who should know better. Continue reading →

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Holiday Retail Forecasts

November 14th, 2008  |  Posted by: Mayonaze  | 4 Comments

xmas_shopping-300x284 Holiday Retail ForecastsThe holidays are approaching and that means holiday traditions are approaching too.  We all have our favorites.  For some it’s spending time with family and friends, for others it’s parties and get-togethers.  Some people enjoy the cooking and baking, while others like to decorate while consuming large sums of liquor.

For myself, my favorite tradition this time of year is listening to holiday retail forecast.  I know it’s “beginning to look a lot like Christmas” when I hear the media report on what a “bleak shopping season” it will be.

“Current financial pressures and a lack of confidence in the economy will force shoppers to be very conservative with their holiday spending,” reported Rosalind Wells, Chief Economist for the National Retail Federation.

Sure it will.

Every year they say Continue reading →

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Bush and Obama Meet

November 11th, 2008  |  Posted by: Ear Muff  | No Comments

tmq_obama_bush_200 Bush and Obama MeetDid anyone see video footage of the President and President-elect meeting at the White House yesterday? I’m sure you all did.  What struck me as noticable, other than how retarded President Bush looks every time he does anything, was the body language of the two men.  President Bush looked so tense and uptight while Obama looked as if he had just gotten laid on the limo ride over to the White House.  Strange how the guy about to leave the most stressful job in the world looked like his ass was squeezed into knots while the guy about to take over the lead of a country that is in the middle of an economic nightmare and two unwinnable wars looked like he was practically dancing with each stride.

My theory?  Man Obama is smooth.  Just what the country needs, a smooth talker and walker who can impose our will on the world yet still make them feel like they are getting a good deal.  Take note soon-to-be-ousted Bush, “my way or the high way” just does not work these days.

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