Things People Hate » Anna Nicole Smith

Anna Nicole Smith – The Gold’s not There

ReynsGems — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:00:58 +0000

A United States Court of Appeals ruled last week that Anna Nicole Smith’s estate will get a big ZERO from the estate of the late J. Howard Marshall.

Anna had asked for more than $300 million in which she claims Marshall promised her during their marriage. It should be noted that the marriage lasted less than a year and at the time of the marriage, Smith was 26 and Marshall 89. Needless to say, the court begged to differ.

…Lap dance…$50

…Divorce Settlement…$5,000

…Marriage to Marshall…free because I’m sure he covered it…

…Court’s ruling on estate settlement…$0

Marriage to an really old oil tycoon doesn’t always pay. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.

Marge Simpson To Appear On November Cover Of Playboy

Mayonaze — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:51:18 +0000

Marge Simpson, from the Fox animated show The Simpson’s, will appear on the November cover of Playboy magazine.

The blue beehived beauty will be the first cartoon character to ever appear on the cover of the men’s magazine–that is if you exclude Anna Nicole Smith.

The issue hits newsstands on Oct. 16.

The cover is supposedly celebrating 20 years of The Simpsons. The animated series debut on the Fox Network in December of 1989. The Simpsons is now the longest -running primetime series in U.S. history.

Marge won’t actually be seen naked. The cover has her naughty parts hidden by a chair and inside, Marge is featured in a 3-page pictorial that, according to the magazine, only implies nudity.

No worries. If you really want to see her private pixels do a Google search for “Marge Simpson” with safe search off. You will not only find Marge naked, but you’ll find her doing stuff they wouldn’t publish in Hustler… or so I’ve heard. The only images I look at on the internet are that of kitties.

New Playboy CEO Scott Flanders (no relation to Ned Flanders) claims the idea to feature Marge Simpson in the magazine is to attract “readers” in their 20′s. Currently, the average age of a Playboy “reader” is 35. However, the average age of “readers” who stash the magazine under their bed is 14.

One person not happy with the announcement is Roman Polanski. He was hoping for Lisa.

Marge won’t be the first member of the family to appear naked. If you remember correctly, Bart show off his “bartlet” in The Simpsons Movie.

Anna Nicole Smith

Gossip Whore — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 07:19:32 +0000

Too Soon? No, way too late in fact. I can still remember chubbing up to those scenes in Naked Gun 33 1/3, yes, Leslie Nielsen was a good looking older man. Also, Anna Nicole Smith had huge bazoombas in that movie and I wanted to TF her so bad I could taste it. Tasted like beef and cheese. Anyways, she was even nice enough to make a video that they still play every once in a while on Showtime where she’s banging her maid. You know I’ve spent thousands of dollars trying to get my maid to bang me and all I have is a really clean house with piles of jizz in every room. Some would say, well if it has jizz everywhere then it’s not really clean, to which I reply, my jizz is clean asshole you wanna fight about it. So this white trash skeez goes out and eats like a suey, has this down syndrome kid (the editors of TWPH.com do not condone this part, but we left it in cause it is kinda sad-funny), hires Howard Stern as a lawyer which never made sense to me, and became a regular good ole fashioned C-word. Then everyone died or something like that. Whatever, good riddens freak lady. But she did get kinda hot towards the end there and even though i knew she could have turned into miss piggy in one trip to the Hometown Buffet, I still would’ve crammed my zippadeedoo into her bippadeebopadee if you know what I mean, and if you don’t, I meant my penis in her vagina.