But, even if O’Reilly isn’t a dick nose, we can be certain he’s a dickhead. It turns out, Bill O’Reilly is good at two things: riling people up (no pun intended) and taking offense when other people rile him up. I won’t spend time here recounting all the stupid things O’Reilly, the “journalist” has done over the past several years—there’s plenty of type wasted on him elsewhere. But what I think is so crystallizing about him is his ability to be offended by other people’s actions which have nothing to do with him. He’s as likely to throw a temper tantrum over someone saving their Persian cat from a tree (all Persians are, of course, terrorists in the “No Spin Zone”) as he is to verbally abuse the child of a 9/11 victim. Were you kidnapped and sexually abused over the course of several years? O’Reilly thinks you probably had a blast. The only people O’Reilly seems to defend are idiots like him, people hell bent on making public asses of themselves.

Some of us were drawn in when O’Reilly first started blustering and blowing a few years ago. But, as time has drawn on and he’s become more of an embarrassment to white people everywhere, we’ve come to realize that everyone, especially white people, hates Bill O’Reilly.