Georgey Porgey

Hu Who? Hu! Who? Jintao

Jim: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, once again I’m Jim Black and along side me is my colleague Bob White. Welcome to the third “Will Honkey Win?” event, featuring a battle between the world’s two top dogs President George W. Bush and Hu Jintao.

Bob:  George versus who?

Jim:  Hu.

Bob: Who?

Jim: Hu.  Hu Jintao

Bob:  I don’t now who Jintao is that is why I was asking you.

Jim: No! Hu! Hu is his first name, Hu Jintao.

Bob:  Man, don’t get all sensitive about it Jimbo, if you don’t want to tell me who Jintao is just say so.

Jim: Eat a dick Bob, eat a dick.  Moving right along, the two leaders appear ready to begin battling and “ding” there goes the bell. George starts off by deploying 120,000 unarmed troops into Hu’s corner without clear instructions, proper equipment or any possible way of winning.

Bob: This guy, will he ever learn?  Its like a broken record.

Jim:  Right you are dick nose.  George has sent in his troops and off he goes to Camp David for vacation number 23.  He should be back in a few weeks.  Meanwhile, the troops are doing their best but Hu Jintao has begun to dazzle them with a myriad of bombs and artillery fire which no doubt is some sort of CGI trick he’s concocted to make the world think his army is strong.  The troops seem to be buying it and they have started to duck for cover.

Bob:  I am so confuzed right now.  Between not knowing who Jintao is and not knowing what the US troop strategy is, this seems like a bad Lifetime movie to me.

Jim:  The CGI has subsided and the troops are being brought home as Barrack Obama has jumped into the ring in George Bush’s stead.  Oops, here comes Georgey, back from vacation.  George is in the middle of the Octagon and he appears to be lost.  He is looking over his shoulder but Dick Cheney is nowhere to be found.

Bob:  He’s like a puppet without a string out there Jim.  That Jintao guy is really taking it to him…whoever he is.

Jim:  Right you are moron, Hu is taking it to him.  He’s grabbed a bag full of bootlegged DVD’s and he is slashing them at George as if they were ninja stars.  Hu appears to be tiring out there though.  No doubt the ridiculous pollution he breaths every day has taken a toll on his lungs.

Bob:  Jintao may be tiring but George W’ appears to have no chance.  He’s begun to weep like a little boy without his father to take care of him.

Jim:  You may have it right this time Bob, George appears done.  He appears to be stalling somewhat as if he is just biding time for someone else to inherit the overly burdensome situation he has created for the USA in this match.

Bob:  The crowd now appears to be asking the same question I was Jim as they have begun to chant “Who…Who…Who.”

Jim:  They’re not asking a question, they are cheering for Hu you idiot.  Jesus Christ I can’t work under these conditions, its like talking to a monkey.  Whoa my! George just took a lethal shot to the brow from Hu Jintao.  His head is split right open and he is down for the count.  Ding! Ding! Ding!  There goes the bell, Hu has taken this by TKO.  In a strange scene the entire crowd, both Chinese and American, appear overjoyed.  Champagne is popping and the crowd is partying like its January 1, 2009.

Bob: Yes sir, it appears that everyone, no matter the nationality, has been anxiously awaiting this moment. Bye bye George W and hello new found hope for the world.

Jim:  Well, we are out of time folks, its been a long eight years and George’s time is up.  Tune in next week for a battle of the world’s best soccer players.  Until next week, good night and godspeed.