Things People Hate » Hulk Hogan

A Man’s Best Friend…His Only Friend

ReynsGems — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:00:15 +0000

Hulk Hogan has learned many things over the last couple tumultuous years, but at least he hasn’t lost perspective on the things that really matter.

Everyone should already know that a Man’s priorities are to such:

A Dog
His Toilet Seat
A Woman (or in Tiger’s case, ‘many a women’)

That is why I’m not in the least bit surprised Hulk Hogan recently made a big deal out of wanting his “wooden antique toilet seat” back from his ex-wife Linda.

According to legal documents (thanks to TMZ.com), the legendary wrestler accuses Linda of stripping his home of all sorts of valuable items such as chandeliers, a tanning bed (dammit, I knew he tanned!), a wine rack, fixtures, bathrubs, speakers, and the infamous toilet seat from the guest house.

Which brings up a great question, why is the toilet seat so coveted if it was reserved for guests only?

In the docs, Hulk claims Linda’s alleged pillaging left the home in such a bad state, that Hogan refuses to let his realtor show the place to potential buyers.

In the meantime, the only place Hogan can take a dump is at the nearby “porta-potty.”

God Help this man!

Hogan/Flair Fight was Real, RIGHT?

ReynsGems — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:00:04 +0000

Has anyone scoped the photos all over the internet of an incredibly bloody Hulk Hogan?

(If not, turn your head slightly to the left)

The “brawl” all started when wrestling legends Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair met at a press conference in Australia. Hogan and Flair were in Australia to promote an upcoming wrestling event, when for no particular reason, the two began to smash the crap out of each other.

Several shots reveal blood pouring down Hogan’s face, through the back of his hair and all the way down to his mouth.

According to some rumors, people insist that the entire fight was not staged and that the entire thing was real.

So you mean to tell me professional wrestling, the master of cheesy pre-fight conflicts and over-hyped cards, actually was real for once? I mean the actual match is never real for God’s sake!

All I can say is Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair must really need the money.

NEW: SEE VIDEO FOOTAGE OF THE INCIDENT

Hogan with a Machine Gun…Yikes!

ReynsGems — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 13:42:27 +0000

The legendary former professional wrestling star made a major boo boo recently when he told Rolling Stone magazine that he could directly relate to why O.J. ”possibly” murdered his ex-wife.

“You live half a mile from the 20,000 square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife…I totally understand O.J. I get it.”

Linda Hogan, Hulk’s ex-wife is apparently now prepared to take legal action against the Hulk with a repersenative stating, “We have always maintained that the fear that Linda has had to live with comes from the rage and instability much too often associated with pro wrestlers.”

Hulk Hogan’s attorney countered by publically stating, “Page six (in the article) only quoted a very small portion of the quote from the Rolling Stone article. The attorney also remarked that he understands the frustration that can lead to that sort of activity but he definitely does not condone it.

“(Hulk) Hogan is grounded in his faith and a belief in a higher power and does not believe in violence for any reason.”

Some famous dudes may relate to the Hulk. I mean you work your butt off all those years, bring in all that money, and now you’re living off the street while your ex-wife basks in all the fortune.

Too often it appears the male gets screwed out of this equation. See Mel Gibson in a year or two from now.

Then again, if you had a family like Hulk Hogan’s, maybe you TOO would be miserable.

Hulk Hogan

Funny Gossip — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:27:24 +0000

White people hate Hulk Hogan. There is a time in every white person’s life when they are confronted with the reality that their heroes have fallen. As a young boy, I can remember jumping and screaming in my living room, yelling at the television, hoping beyond hope that Hulk Hogan could hear me cheering him on as he gave Rowdy Roddy Piper an anal fissure by hitting him in the head with a chair. I loved the Hulkster. I was a bona fide Hulkamaniac. Recently, however, I’ve been confronted by a series of disappointing, if not downright shocking, glimpses into the life of this man I once revered. Of course he made a reality show, and in said show, he prances around his house with a fanny pack and Hammer pants, wondering who’s life he can meddle in next. He nosier than the neighbor from “Small Wonder” (look it up, kids). After his sad, sad show ended, so did his sad, sad marriage. But, not to worry. The Hulkster promptly ran out and sacked up with a man. His ex is out banging 18-year-old beefcakes, and the Hulkster is out banging a 37-year-old beefcake. Not cool. The last straw came the other day when I flipped on an episode of his daughter’s show. Hulk Hogan, the man I wanted to be when I grew up, was chasing his daughter around Mexico, showing up at her parties, and desperately seeking her approval. Alas, he is the Hulk no more. He’s Gary Coleman in a 6’4” white man’s body. Farewell, sweet prince. You’re dead to me now. And there’s nothing I can imagine you doing to make white people stop hating you.