The arguably beautiful, unintelligent, and horrific actress has been known to play the field (the football field that is) which makes her recent trade from Cowboys star quarterback (Tony Homo) to former San Francisco 49ers tight end Eric Johnson all the more interesting. 

Johnson, who last played for the New Orleans Saints in 2008, reportedly split from his wife earlier this year and is now dating Jessica Simpson.

Which is terrific, if, anyone did indeed still care about Jessica Simpson.

According to People Magazine, Simpson was “heartbroken” over the news (we’re assuming the news of the break-up and not the news of her birthday).

Before Romo gets lambasted for his insensitivity for dumping Simpson the night before her birthday, give him some credit. His shrewd timing meant that he didn’t have to buy her that one last gift.

We all know the two worst gifts to buy a girl are either right before you break up or right after you hook up.

In the course of a year, Romo has lost his best receiver—Terrell Owens—and a hot blonde— Jessica Simpson. In other words, he’s lost a T-O and an H-O.

According to reports, the Pro Bowl quarterback apparently cut Simpson loose so he could go after a tight end.

Romo plays in “Big D” but now that they’ve broken up, Simpson can no longer play with Romo’s “Big D.”

Thank you. Thank you. We’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

“She loves Tony. But it’s been difficult lately. He’s busy with his career and she’s getting ready to shoot her show ‘The Price of Beauty.’ They decided to part ways,” said “a source close to Simpson” (i.e. Simpson’s mouth).

Speaking of careers, this break-up poses huge problems for Romo. Come January, when he chokes and he blows another playoff game for the Cowboys, he’ll have no one to blame for the loss but himself.

Romo was apparently seen the night of Simpson’s birthday at a Hollywood club with some girls.

Of course he was!

Romo is the quarterback of the Dallas “frickin” Cowboys. Along with playing centerfield for the New York Yankees and being President of the United States, quarterbacking the Cowboys is one of the three best jobs in America for acquiring tail—you can’t let even one night of your tenure go to waste.

Simpson, who turned 29 (no wonder Romo got rid of her, she’s ancient) recently said on her Twitter page “I Love Getting Older.” Unfortunately for Simpson, Romo doesn’t think so.

In a weekend appearance at the 99.9 Kiss Country’s annual Chili Cookoff, Simpson shocked the world with her new waist size and arm fat.

Simpson wore “mom-jeans,” an unflattering black tank top and a leopard belt.  Her outfit made her look more like a waitress from JB’s Roadhouse than an international singing star.

Performing in front of 30,000 in Pembroke Pines, Florida, Simpson made sure to tell the audience, before and after every song, that she’s dating Dallas Cowboys’ quarterback Tony Romo.

“I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight!” she told the crowd while putting on his lettermen jacket.

After her set, Simpson admitted that she and Romo will occasionally stay home and partake in this strange ritual called “dinner.”

“My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays,” Simpson told her throng of fans. “I am so happy!”

It should come as no surprise that Simpson prefers the plumpness.  In a famous interview with Harpers Bazaar magazine, Simpson admitted she likes curves on a woman rather a super-skinny frame.

“Curves are better,” Simpson explained. “I don’t get the whole rail thing.  It’s not good for your heart, it’s not good for your mind; it’s emotionally destructive, it really is.”

Of course as a dude, I prefer love-handles, chin-fat and long toe nails on a man, but that’s just me.

Is Simpson’s expansion a result of a healthy body image or a symptom of a deep seeded emotional problem?  If only someone cared.