Michaels has now been sued three times over her line of fat killers. The allegations range from a “potentially lethal blend of ingredients,” to ”it doesn’t mix with my daily diet of McDonalds.” Michaels, however, stands by the product and claims the ingredients are backed by experts.

In the most recent class action lawsuit, Kathy Hensley claims The Biggest Loser trainer “sold her proverbial soul to the devil” by teaming up with the companies that created her fat burner. “Well…maybe you sold your soul to the devil when you traded in exercise for false hope in a pill,” Jillian Michaels rebutted[1].

Honestly, we have a pill for everything now. If Hensley claims the pill is a “toxic cocktail,” what in the hell do you think Taco Bell is at two in the morning? [2]

I would stop, but the lawsuit gets even funnier. Hensley also claims one of the pill’s ingredients - citrus aurantium - is known to cause high blood pressure and serious cardiac problems in certain individuals. So is being overweight.

In all seriousness, I completely support Hensley’s lawsuit. It’s about time we jumped on these irrational fitness freaks. Fat burning pills, like steroids, are really lame. These things are way worse than crack. I mean all those other supplements and diet shakes I pound down are fine, but hard drugs like fat burning pills are weightlifting laced weed. Medical weed that is. It’s even more dirty. I stand by Hensley and firmly believe she’s worth every cent of her 5 million dollar settlement.

Jillian Michaels, suck on my obesity!

[1] - She actually never said this. Hey, it would make a sweet counter-statement though.
[2] – Toxic diarrhea.