Things People Hate » John McCain http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com Celebrity Rants, Male-Focused News and Other Random Complaints Wed, 13 Oct 2010 16:59:37 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Celebrity Political Endorsements http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/other/politics/celebrity-political-endorsements/ http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/other/politics/celebrity-political-endorsements/#comments Mon, 29 Sep 2008 07:01:34 +0000 Lance Lionham http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/?p=836 heidi montag john mccain Celebrity Political EndorsementsLook, celebrity-types: We want to see you flying out of exploding buildings brandishing a semiautomatic while wearing little more than a gun belt. We want to hear you singing about your ex boy/girlfriend, how they treated you like shit and how you don’t care because you’re better off without them. We’ll even pay you some attention when you wipe away the cocaine-induced tears as you accept this month’s award for doing whatever it is you do.

What we don’t give a flying flip about is what you think about politics. You’re a celebrity. That means you’re pretty to look at, you have at least a mediocre voice, you’re rich and/or you’ve been involved in at least one good sex scandal. What it doesn’t mean is that you’re smart or that we give a damn about hearing you say anything that wasn’t directed by Scorsese or delivered by a spokesperson while you were in rehab for the latest addiction.

You are not a political pundit, nor does your stint on a military sitcom qualify you as some sort of expert on foreign policy. In fact, it doesn’t even qualify you to play hide-the-cigar with Clinton in the oval oriface, so shut it!

]]> http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/other/politics/celebrity-political-endorsements/feed/ 1 TWPH: John McCain http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/celebrities/john-mccain/twph-john-mccain/ http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/celebrities/john-mccain/twph-john-mccain/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:11:00 +0000 Funny Gossip http://www.thingswhitepeoplehate.com/?p=255 john mccain jowels 300x199 TWPH: John McCainWhite people hate John McCain. The Doubletalk Express, as McCain has been affectionately dubbed by his opponents, is frightening to white people. One day, he says he like Christians, the next day he likes Jews. One day he loves Coke, and not two hours later, you catch him drinking a Pepsi. Hell, he married a blonde, but all his secret hookers are redheads. You just can’t trust that McCain will stick to his guns when it comes to anything, assuming of course he remembers what his guns were to begin with. This old bastard cooked like a french fry for the last 30 years in the Arizona heat, and he seems to be seconds away from forgetting his own name. Of course, white people love the infirm—they’re great for gossip and off-color (read: white) jokes. But when McCain might be put in office, white people can’t help but fear the possibility that he’ll forget he’s white. He could wake up one day and thinks he was born a poor black child. As quickly as that, all of Al Sharpton’s fondest dreams could come true and white people would be left with nothing but a majority of the world’s wealth and influence. What good is most of the world’s wealth and influence if you can’t have it all?!!! No, John McCain is not to be trusted because he could bat for the other team at any time. For that reason and that reason alone, white people can’t stand they guy.

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