Yet in the old days (such as 2007), the middle of July would have been far too early to start thinking about the Oscars. Back then, Hollywood loaded up its prestige fare in the fall so that it would stays fresh in the minds of Academy voters.

Last year, however, that all changed with four of the ten Best Picture nominees – include Hurt Locker – released in mid-summer.

Consequently, TPH decided to take a journey down the good, bad, and downright awful in the first half of 2010.

Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo is killing it. First, he did wonders with Shutter Island, another SCORE with Martin Scorsese followed by the recent release of Inception. The trailers may leave you more confused than philosophy from Flavor Flav, but you’ll have to admit that Inception looks incredibly cool. It’s the engaging storyline mixed with the special effects. And of course, it doesn’t hurt that Christopher Nolan is directing this piece either.

Toy Story 3

I’m 23 yet I enjoyed the third version of this fantastic series as much as I enjoyed the original some ten to fifteen years ago. How is it that Pixar can make movies that both kids and adults will enjoy? They did marvels with Toy Story 3 and might be the only studio in Hollywood that routinely produces hits consistently now.

Valentine’s Day

The only love this disaster showcased is the affection you have for deeply regretting you just spent $20 with your date (or your hand in other cases) to attend this dreadful piece of cinema. How can one mess up with a cast that included Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Kathy Bates, Jessica Alba, and Patrick Dempsy? Trust us, it happened.

Sex and the Pity

Could somebody please make it all end? Haven’t we all seen enough of Sarah Jessica Parker. Apparently not. Just ask the thousands who flocked to see the women do Abu Dhabi, as if they haven’t slept with everyone including half of all Hollywood Executives by now. Please stop killing my brain cells! You’re truly worst than video games.

Oh, Jen

Seriously, has Jennifer Aniston been a part of anything worth watching since her role as Rachel in Friends ended in 2004? Jennifer has already provided us with one miserable film in 2010 (The Bounty Hunter) and sadly I don’t think that will be the last of her. Equally bad was fellow Jen Lopez in The Back-Up Plan more adequately titled, “The Absolutely Last Movie You Should Ever See.”

Is it possible…more good than bad for Hollywood in the first half of 2010? As far as the mainstream goes, it certainly appears to be heading in that direction.

Scientology

Created by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology has found a major cult following inside Hollywood, as outspoken followers include Tom Cruise and John Travolta. The Church of Scientology believes that at higher levels of initiations (OT levels) mystical teachings are imparted that may be harmful to unprepared readers. These teachings are kept secret from members who have not reached these levels. Among these advanced teachings – a story of Xenu, an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy.” According to this story, 75 million years ago Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in a spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and detonated hydrogen bombs in the volcanoes. The thetans then clustered together, stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to do this today.

Creativity Movement

Formerly known as “World Church of the Creator,” is basically a fancy way of saying “Nazis who believe in a themselves.”  A white separatist organization that advocates whites-only religion, the use of the term creator does not refer to a deity, but rather to themselves (white people). Despite the former use of the word Church in its name, the movement is atheistic.

Thee Temple ov Psychick Youth

Founded in 1981 by members of Psychic TV, Coil, Current 93, and a number of other individuals who cannot spell, the ever expanding network is a loosely federated group of people operating as a unique blend of artistic collective and practitioners of magic. TOPY is dedicated to the manifestation of magical concepts lacking mysticism or the worship of gods. The group focuses on the psychic and magical aspects of the human brain linked with “guiltless sexuality”.

The Nation of Yahweh

A predominantly African-American religious group with a very controversial offshoot of the Black Hebrew Israelites line of thought. Founded in 1979 in Miami by Hulon Mitchell, Jr., who went by the name Yahweh ben Yahweh, the goal of Nation of Yahweh is to return African Americans, whom they see as the original Israelites, to Israel. The group departs from mainstream Christianity and Judaism by accepting Yahweh ben Yahweh as the Son of God. In this way, their beliefs are unique and distinct from that of other known Black Hebrew Israelite groups. The group has engendered controversy due to legal issues of its founder and has also faced accusations of being a black supremacist cult by the Southern Poverty Law Center and The Miami Herald.

Church of All Worlds

The Church of All Worlds is a neo-pagan religion founded in 1962 by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart and his wife Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart (haha is that seriously her name?). The religion evolved from a group of friends and lovers who were in part inspired by a fictional religion of the same name in the science fiction novel Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. The religion recognizes “Gaea,” the Earth Mother Goddess and the Father God, as well as the realm of Faeries and the deities of many other pantheons.

Universe People

Cosmic people of light powers (Czech: Vesmírní lidé sil světla) is a Czech religious movement centered around Ivo A. Benda. Its belief system is based upon the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations communicating with Benda and other “contacters” since October 1997 telepathically and later even by direct personal contact. According to Benda those civilizations operate a fleet of spaceships, led by Ashtar Sheran, orbiting the Earth. They closely watch and help the good and are waiting to transport their followers into another dimension.

The Church of SubGenius

I didn’t know parody religions existed until I found out about The Church of SubGenius. The ”religion” promotes slack, while in a meta-commentarial way, satirizes religion, conspiracy theories, UFOs, and popular culture. The church claims to have been founded in the 1950s by the “world’s greatest salesman” J. R. “Bob” Dobbs. It found acceptance in underground pop-culture circles and has been embraced on college campuses, in the underground music scene, and on the Internet. Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) is a SubGenius minister. Patrick Volkerding, the founder and maintainer of Slackware Linux, is also a SubGenius affiliate, and he has confirmed the Church and “Bob” inspired the name for Slackware.

Prince Philip Movement

The Movement is a cargo cult of the Yaohnanen tribe on the southern island of Tanna in Vanuatu. The Yaohnanen believe that Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, the consort to Queen Elizabeth II, is a divine being, the pale-skinned son of a mountain spirit and brother of John Frum. According to ancient tales the son travelled over the seas to a distant land, married a powerful lady, and would in time return. Their beliefs were strengthened by the royal couple’s official visit to Vanuatu in 1974 when a few villagers had the opportunity to observe the prince from afar. Prince Philip was made aware of the religion and has exchanged gifts with its leaders and even visited them.

The Church of Euthanasia

A political organization founded by the Reverend Chris Korda, is “a non-profit educational foundation devoted to restoring balance between Humans and the remaining species on Earth.” The CoE uses sermons, music, culture jamming, publicity stunts, and direct action combined with an underlying sense of satire and black humor to highlight Earth’s unsustainable population. The CoE is notorious for its conflicts with Pro-life Christian activists. According to the church’s website, the one commandment is “Thou shalt not procreate”. The CoE further asserts four principal pillars: suicide, abortion, cannibalism (“strictly limited to consumption of the already dead”), and sodomy (“any sexual act not intended for procreation”). Slogans employed by the group include “Save the Planet, Kill Yourself”, “Six Billion Humans Can’t Be Wrong”, and “Eat a Queer Fetus for Jesus”, all of which are intended to mix inflammatory issues to unnerve those who oppose abortion and homosexuality.

Nuwaubianism

Nuwaubianism is an umbrella term used to refer to the doctrines and teachings of the followers of Dwight York. The Nuwaubians originated as a Black Muslim group in New York in the 1970s, and have gone through many changes since. Eventually, the group established a headquarters in Putnam County, Georgia in 1993, which they have since abandoned. York is now in prison after having been convicted on money laundering and child molestation charges, but Nuwaubianism endures. White people are said in one Nuwaubian myth to have been originally created as a race of killers to serve blacks as a slave army, but this plan went awry. Here is a list of some of the more unusual Nuwaubian beliefs:

1. It is important to bury the afterbirth so that Satan does not use it to make a duplicate of the recently-born child.
2. Furthermore, some aborted fetuses survive their abortion to live in the sewers, where they are being gathered and organized to take over the world
3. People were once perfectly symmetrical and ambidextrous, but then a meteorite struck Earth and tilted its axis causing handedness and shifting the heart off-center in the chest
4. Each of us has seven clones living in different parts of the world
5. Women existed for many generations before they invented men through genetic manipulation
6. Homo sapiens is the result of cloning experiments that were done on Mars using Homo erectus
7. Nikola Tesla came from the planet Venus
8. The Illuminati have nurtured a child, Satan’s son, who was born on 6 June 1966 at the Dakota House on 72nd Street in New York to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis of the Rothschild/Kennedy families. The Pope was present at the birth and performed necromantic ceremonies. The child was raised by former U.S. president Richard Nixon and now lives in Belgium, where it is hooked up bodily to a computer called “The Beast 3M” or “3666.”

Travolta refused to make his son’s disorder public not because he wanted to respect his privacy but rather because Scientology told him to keep a lid on it. 

Also, contrary to recent reports, Travolta is still connected with the “church” and claims his faith has never wavered, even after the death of his son.

…And Tom Cruise is still in the closet.

Travolta’s silence on autism in years past was consistent with Scientology’s unofficial position on the subject. Sceintology also does not believe in medication because the aliens over in planet “X” can save you from all that. 

Apparently Scientology bigwigs are unhappy with John’s recognition of Jett’s condition, but Travolta remains “firmly committed” to the false religion. A source close to Travolta also told TMZ and Travolta has used Scientology as “therapy” in trying to cope with Jett’s death.

So let me get this straight. The people who run Scientology would rather Travolta lie to a grand jury than admit his son was autistic? Last time I checked, lying to a grand jury is a felony.

Unfortunately Travolta is still handing over checks to this joke while they slap him on the wrist and quietly whisper…”Bad John.”