America’s Next Top BOMBshell

Over the weekend, three people were arrested and six others injured when a stampede broke out in a crowd waiting to audition for Tyra Banks’ reality show, “America’s Next Top Model.”

The riot also set a world record for the most people simultaneously uttering the phrase, “not in the face!”

Police reports indicate that the six victims were injured after being knocked over by the breeze produced from the stampeding contestants.

“It was pretty scary,” told one of the aspirant models to WNYW-TV.  “It was almost as scary as getting older.”

The incident also marks the first time injured victims asked for a hairstylist instead of an ambulance.  However, two people were taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for poor accessorizing.

The incident happened outside the Park Central New York hotel in Manhattan but as to a cause, the police are stymied.  They were extremely upset that they didn’t get to see a cat fight.

Several theories have arisen as to why the prospective contestants for “America’s Next Top Model” went completely bitchcakes:

• Mass PMS, they were waiting in line so long their periods synced.
• An argument broke out over who is gayer, J. Alexander or Jay Manuel?
• Wasn’t a stampede at all but a gang fight between the Bulimics Babes and Anorexics Angels.
• Tempers erupted after the wannabes models couldn’t decide what to order for dinner: Certs and cigarettes or chewing gum and ketchup packets.
• The budding beauties panicked when the Botox being passed around was rumored to be a bad batch.
• The reality show hopefuls were rushing to watch a portable television after someone announced they found the CW Network.
• It was nothing more than an out of control blush fight.

Authorities shut down the audition, not because of the prospect of future violence but because they just can’t stand the show.

According to reporters, the street outside the hotel was festooned with shoes, clothing and the aspiring model’s self respect.

I saw this video of the event and thought it was hilarious. Take a look to see how a panic mob resulted in a number of trampled tramps.