Chuck Norris for…President?

Looks like Texans may soon have a leader to be proud of, a man of integrity and mad karate skills and a beard to make even Joaquin Phoenix jealous.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it seems that if Texas decides to secede from the Union, which resident douche bag Rick Perry says is a distinct possibility, Chuck Norris wants to make sure he’s first in line for the Presidency.

“I may run for president of Texas,” Norris wrote in a column posted at WorldNetDaily.  “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Just a few notes:

1.  If Texas ever secedes from the Union, I’m moving to California so fast Chuck Norris wouldn’t even be able to catch me with a roundhouse kick.

2.  If Chuck Norris is president, can he still technically beat up the fake TV bad guys?  Cause that’s pretty much all he’s good at. 

3.  I hate to say it, but his non-television Fight Record is pretty freakin’ shoddy.  When “defeated” is your middle name, you might want to aim for goals that are a little less lofty.

4.  The man does infomercials.  I can just hear it now:  “Yes, my fellow Texans, this authentic severed Obama head replica can be yours for the low low price of just $19.99 (plus s&h, and your soul, of course). 

Yippee ka yay.