“Don’t Stop Believing”, by Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan has an answer for all those haters out there…

“Don’t Stop Believing!”

While the song made a comeback a year or so ago when it graced the final minutes of “The Sopranos,” it’s making even a stronger comeback as Lindsey Lohan’s personal theme song.

FADE FROM BLACK

Lohan sits patiently ready for an interview with E! News. She accepts that all the public speculation and criticism has indeed become frustrating.

Lohan states, “I’m really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work.”

She goes on to urge people not to believe everything they read.

“I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I don’t lie,” she remarked. “I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”

“I move forward and I change. Life’s too short not to. If people would just leave my personal life alone—because it’s really not that interesting—then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting (like the haunting?).”

Lohan’s new personal agenda is more admirable than the President of the United States…

“I’d like to have my own charity (wow!), do work overseas (like what Angelina does?), be in Oscar-nominated films (study Slumdog, they won a lot this year), write movies (that’s hard!), produce movies/shows/videos (Oh man, even more lofty!), design clothes (that’s a given, tell me something I don’t know), make music (god, no!), write books (even worse), etc. (there’s more?).”

Lindsey tops off the conversation with a memorable closing speech (hey maybe she could write)…

“No one is perfect, and perfect is impossible. You have to make mistakes to learn so that you can grow up and live your life the right way. Things happen, and you have to move on, be strong, and believe in yourself. It would be really nice if people would believe in me.”

FADE TO BLACK