A Man’s Best Friend…His Only Friend

Hulk Hogan has learned many things over the last couple tumultuous years, but at least he hasn’t lost perspective on the things that really matter.

Everyone should already know that a Man’s priorities are to such:

1. A Dog
2. His Toilet Seat
3. A Woman (or in Tiger’s case, ‘many a women’)

That is why I’m not in the least bit surprised Hulk Hogan recently made a big deal out of wanting his “wooden antique toilet seat” back from his ex-wife Linda.

According to legal documents (thanks to TMZ.com), the legendary wrestler accuses Linda of stripping his home of all sorts of valuable items such as chandeliers, a tanning bed (dammit, I knew he tanned!), a wine rack, fixtures, bathrubs, speakers, and the infamous toilet seat from the guest house.

Which brings up a great question, why is the toilet seat so coveted if it was reserved for guests only?

In the docs, Hulk claims Linda’s alleged pillaging left the home in such a bad state, that Hogan refuses to let his realtor show the place to potential buyers.

In the meantime, the only place Hogan can take a dump is at the nearby “porta-potty.”

God Help this man!