Tony Romo Cuts Jessica Simpson

Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo broke up with “singer” (and we use that term in the loosest possible sense) Jessica Simpson the night before her 29th birthday.

According to People Magazine, Simpson was “heartbroken” over the news (we’re assuming the news of the break-up and not the news of her birthday).

Before Romo gets lambasted for his insensitivity for dumping Simpson the night before her birthday, give him some credit. His shrewd timing meant that he didn’t have to buy her that one last gift.

We all know the two worst gifts to buy a girl are either right before you break up or right after you hook up.

In the course of a year, Romo has lost his best receiver—Terrell Owens—and a hot blonde— Jessica Simpson. In other words, he’s lost a T-O and an H-O.

According to reports, the Pro Bowl quarterback apparently cut Simpson loose so he could go after a tight end.

Romo plays in “Big D” but now that they’ve broken up, Simpson can no longer play with Romo’s “Big D.”

Thank you. Thank you. We’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

“She loves Tony. But it’s been difficult lately. He’s busy with his career and she’s getting ready to shoot her show ‘The Price of Beauty.’ They decided to part ways,” said “a source close to Simpson” (i.e. Simpson’s mouth).

Speaking of careers, this break-up poses huge problems for Romo. Come January, when he chokes and he blows another playoff game for the Cowboys, he’ll have no one to blame for the loss but himself.

Romo was apparently seen the night of Simpson’s birthday at a Hollywood club with some girls.

Of course he was!

Romo is the quarterback of the Dallas “frickin” Cowboys. Along with playing centerfield for the New York Yankees and being President of the United States, quarterbacking the Cowboys is one of the three best jobs in America for acquiring tail—you can’t let even one night of your tenure go to waste.

Simpson, who turned 29 (no wonder Romo got rid of her, she’s ancient) recently said on her Twitter page “I Love Getting Older.” Unfortunately for Simpson, Romo doesn’t think so.