TWPH: John McCain

White people hate John McCain. The Doubletalk Express, as McCain has been affectionately dubbed by his opponents, is frightening to white people. One day, he says he like Christians, the next day he likes Jews. One day he loves Coke, and not two hours later, you catch him drinking a Pepsi. Hell, he married a blonde, but all his secret hookers are redheads. You just can’t trust that McCain will stick to his guns when it comes to anything, assuming of course he remembers what his guns were to begin with. This old bastard cooked like a french fry for the last 30 years in the Arizona heat, and he seems to be seconds away from forgetting his own name. Of course, white people love the infirm—they’re great for gossip and off-color (read: white) jokes. But when McCain might be put in office, white people can’t help but fear the possibility that he’ll forget he’s white. He could wake up one day and thinks he was born a poor black child. As quickly as that, all of Al Sharpton’s fondest dreams could come true and white people would be left with nothing but a majority of the world’s wealth and influence. What good is most of the world’s wealth and influence if you can’t have it all?!!! No, John McCain is not to be trusted because he could bat for the other team at any time. For that reason and that reason alone, white people can’t stand they guy.