Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston are Splitsville
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According to reports, Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston have ended their romantic relationship. At least that’s the word from such venerated sources as UsMagazine.com and E! Online.
I’m sure in 20 years we’ll all remember exactly where we were when we heard the news that Miley and Justin broke up.
Quick aside, was their “coupling” called “Mustin” or “Jiley”?
We all know Cyrus, but who in hell is this Gaston fellow? We’ll tell you at the end of this article, that will give you a few moments to calculate a guess.
Now, no one cares who, or what, becomes romantically involved with Cyrus. After all, her idea of reality has probably been so warped by her immense fame and Disney’s gene therapy that she’s probably incapable of ever having a healthy relationship. And if you do actually care about Cyrus’ love life you should probably seek immediate psychiatric attention.
What’s interesting about this break up is how various “news” outlets are reporting the story. They’re quoting tweets.
Miley tweeted: “Why does saying good-bye hurt so much? Life will go on. You will smile again … we will smile again.”
Gaston tweeted: “Sleep just can’t find me tonight. I almost fell asleep. I think I did for like 10 seconds. Obviously it didn’t work out. How many tears are in there? They’ve gotta run out soon right?”
I was their age once, but even then I was never that dramatic. Romeo and Juliet were never that dramatic. Then again, maybe I should cut Gaston some slack, I never broke up with a teenage billionaire.
Apparently, Nick Jonas, of Jonas Brothers fame, turned this mess into a love triangle—which incidentally is a figure none of the aforementioned celebrities can identify.
Again, who cares, but that rumor did prompt “journalists” to cite another classic tweet from Miley: “I’m in a dark theater ‘writing’ a song with nick j who is rockin a faded eggplant shirt!”
Wow. Reading Miley and Gaston’s tweets really make you appreciate not losing half your brain in an industrial mining accident.
By the way, Gaston is an underwear model and former contestant on Nashville Star. He’s 20-years-old. Cyrus is 16.
12:17 am
Miley is awesome. Justin is sooo cute. This is really sad. They were a really cute couple. I for one care about Miley because her songs speak to me. And portraying her as young and foolish is stupid and mean. She didn’t get so successful because she’s dumb. She got that way because she’s an artist.
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