Miley Cyrus Deletes Twitter Account, Quick Someone Call FEMA!

Miley Cyrus has deleted her Twitter account (cue dramatic and ominous organ music).

In the biggest news story of the year, if not the century, teen star Miley Cyrus is no longer on Twitter.

How will we go on? What reason is there to live? Why does God hate Twitter?

“I’m done tryin’ to please, I ain’t livin’ for tabloids, I am living for me,” the 16 year-old rapped in a “Goodbye Twitter” rap posted on YouTube.

The Hannah Montana star had over 1.1 million followers on Twitter. Meaning her account had a larger audience than MSNBC.

Many are blaming her exodus from the social networking site on her current boyfriend, actor Liam Hemsworth. In one of her final tweets Cyrus wrote, “Liam doesn’t have a Twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason.”

However, in her rap video Cyrus rapped that she deleted her account because she was tired of the media turning all of her tweets into news (like we’re doing right now).

In that same rap video she rapped that she had been “tweeting about pimples” and had stopped “living for moments.”

Well, there’s Cyrus’ problem. You don’t tweet about personal stuff like pimples. I have a twitter account and not once have I ever mentioned by webbed toes or the giant skin tab on my dingy.

And you certainly don’t need to delete your twitter account in order to live for the moments. If you want a life just get as far away from the internet as you can. I should know, I spend every waking moment on the interwebs and I can’t remember the last time I made out with Liam Hemsworth.

Miley’s pops, Billy Ray Cyrus, has encouraged her to return to Twitter. He tweeted, “You are a light in a world of darkness. We r countin on u.” (make loud retching noise).

BRC should be less concerned about his daughter’s Twitter account and more concerned that she’s under the thumb of some actor boy. This Liam kid sounds a little controlling.

Mark our words though, Miley will be back on Twitter. Of course it won’t be her tweeting it will be some production assistant at Disney headquarters.

There’s no way the mouse ears will let the marketing power of Miley’s twitter account go to waste.

But instead of tweets about Miley’s cold sores and menstrual cramps the blurbs will focus on where to get concert tickets, updates on her latest albums, and news about her television show. After all, that’s really what Twitter is for in the first place.