Perez Hilton Black Eyed?

How else would you explain this?

Hilton is accusing Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.I.Am.com (actually just Will.I.Am.) of assault.

The report stems from last night’s “MuchMusic Video Awards” in Toronto where Perez posted on his Twitter:

“I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.”

However, the police in Toronto have another story.

Cops say that it was the general manager of the Black Eyed Peas, Polo Molina, who is actually under investigation.

Musical artists have “general managers?”

According to Toronto police, Molina turned himself in early this morning.

Look, I don’t blame Will.I.Am.com or Molina. I’m actually extremely pleased someone finally paid us a public service. In fact I’m surprised Carrie Prejean didn’t get to him first.

“But he got ASSAULTED!”

I don’t feel bad for anyone who has the time to post on Twitter before contacting police. Neither do I feel bad for someone who actually feels like they need to post on Twitter about their personal problems. I mean I could be wrong, but last time I checked getting your a** kicked was not something worth talking about with all your “fans” online.

Check out my Twitter post at 7 a.m. this morning:

“I was assaulted by Mayo of Things People Hate this morning and a team of his ruthless thugs. The Riddler may have been part of his entourage. I’m not sure. I’m bleeding all over the place. This is no joke! Seriously I’m holding my guts as they pour out of my stomach! Somebody save me! Oh yeah, I forgot…does anyone know the number to 911? It’s not saved in my contact list.”