TWPH: Mischa Barton’s flabby ass.

I had a pretty sweet thing going in Duluth, MN. I was making a sweet living working at the DQ, had two kids by the time I was 20, nurturing a respectable 2 feet of mullet, when out of nowhere I caught an episode of a little TV show called The O.C. This is when my penis packed up my shit and moved my ass out to Huntington Beach to have unabashed monkey sex with Mischa Barton. Although that never happened, I did spend a lion’s share of my time standing in front of my toilet strangling my Joe COCKer as I craned my neck to get a peek at my living room TV every Thursday night at 8pm. Then the show got canceled and my babies mama found me and now I can’t afford a toilet to spank it in but that didn’t matter, I always had my Mischa. By the way, what a stupid fucking name, sounds like something a gay French asshole would call it’s Pomeranian. Anyways, I was out one day perusing the gossip mags when I found the photo below, I began to get teary eyed, sick to my stomach, and my weenis went temporarily insane and began to wail around and cry “NO, NO, WHY, NOT MY Mischa”the way Hispanic mothers do when their kid gets run over by some bored white guy. Come to find out Mischa Barton is the grossest pig I’ve ever seen, her ass cheeks look like they’ve gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson, back when he was a real paper champion. A word of advice for the Mischa I once fell in love with, shove that fist down your throat and eat laxatives like Pez cause holy shit, I can’t keep whacking the Don Johnson to old fucking re-runs of That 70’s Show.