Woody Allen Quotes

Since Mayo is nearly in tears at the celebration of a “soon-to-be” released Roman Polanski’s (as soon as he coughs up the full 4.5 million), it only makes sense to honor another filmmaker today. Woody Allen has inspired audiences for generations thanks to his quick wit and parculiar films. Allen is a knowledgable source and often draws inspiration from literature, philosphy, psychology, Judaism (aka the thing Mel Gibson hates), European cinema, and his hometowm of New York City. I’ve gathered a list of the Top 10 Woody Allen quotes. Enjoy.

10. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
9. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
8. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
7. “I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.”
6. “I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
5. “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
4. “In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.”
3. “If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.”
2. “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
1. “Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.”