Johnny Depp has been named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2009.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
While we have nothing against the “masculine” Pirates of the Caribbean star, Deep’s coronation means I lost the annual TPH Sexiest Man Alive pool.
Yes, we have a Sexiest Man Alive pool. What else would we bet on? It’s not like there’s an annual super-big football game or a 65-team basketball tournament held in the spring?
Bottom line, we at Things People Hate like to get in on the action so we obvious gravitate towards the cut throat world of sexy men competitions.
I thought this would be my year to win. I studied long and hard. I poured over photo after photo of every sexy man in the entertainment industry. I crunched the numbers. On more than one occasion I even broke a sweat. Yet, after doing all that intense homework, I still lost!
I never would have picked the 46-year-old Depp, after all he was named SMA in 2003. He’s now in the two-timers club with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.
Once again, for the fifth year in a row, ReynsGems won the TPH Sexiest Man Alive pool. He really has a knack for picking sexy guys. Bastard!
Worst yet, we each picked three candidates. ReynsGems was so deep into Depp that he skipped his other two picks. He was fully behind Depp.
I, on the other hand, choose Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds, and Gilles Marini. I can take some solace in knowing that all three made the larger Sexiest Men Alive list. But close only counts in horse shoes and our annual Tony Awards pool.
Celebrity Hater went with Robert Patinson, the Glee Guys, and Adam Lambert. All three failed to surpass Depp but they did make that 2009 SMA list.
The Sexiest Man Alive People is now out on newsstands. Of course, I lost so much in the pool I can’t afford to buy it and I don’t dare borrow ReynsGems’ used copy.
I guess I’ll shift my focus on preparing for out next office pool, wagering on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue—not the model but the designer of her swimsuit.
Come on Badgley Mischka, daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
It’s true, I like my men like I like my coffee…black.
Wait a second, that doesn’t apply here.
But I do love me some Johnny Depp.
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