White People Hate being reminded they’re white.

One of the unspoken benefits of whiteness is being considered the base model. White people figure they are like the parent product in God’s line of people. For instance, white people would be Pepsi, and everyone else is Diet Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, or, God forbid, Crystal Pepsi. But when white people are reminded they are white, usually by some upstart black comedian like Dave Chappell, white people get uncomfortable because they’re reminded that people not only like Diet Pepsi, but they’re beginning to like Diet Coke and Mountain Dew, and even wheat grass juice. This makes white people’s sphincters tighten up like snare drums.