White People Hate the Speedo.

I mean, come on now, seriously? Who the heck thought it was a good idea to give the hairy inner-thighed white man a form-fitting skimpy piece of underwear to go out and get wet in? Well, it had to be a Euro invention right? Right. The Speedo was first invented by a Scottish man named Alexander MacRae (aka, “tool”) back in the early 1900s. To pay tribute to this vomit-stain of an invention, we’ve decided to show the top 5 reasons why the Speedo sucks.

1. The fat British tourist

2. The hairy Italian Catholic

3. Speedo marathon

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4. The special occasion Speedo

5. Cold Water (Shrinkage)