I mean, come on now, seriously? Who the heck thought it was a good idea to give the hairy inner-thighed white man a form-fitting skimpy piece of underwear to go out and get wet in? Well, it had to be a Euro invention right? Right. The Speedo was first invented by a Scottish man named Alexander MacRae (aka, “tool”) back in the early 1900s. To pay tribute to this vomit-stain of an invention, we’ve decided to show the top 5 reasons why the Speedo sucks.

1. The fat British tourist

fat, speedo

2. The hairy Italian Catholic

hairy italian speedo

3. Speedo marathon

speedo run, bostons

4. The special occasion Speedo

speedo

5. Cold Water (Shrinkage)

cold water, speedo, small

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