The Piven Effect

If you could be cool, but could only pick a white guy (by some sadistic Genie stipulation), then you would more than likely go with Jeremy Piven. Piven is to white people what Crocodile Dundee is to Australia.

He’s the one ounce of respect we got so naturally we want to hold him close like a little orphan.

So when I see photos of a particular Piven going to a Grammy Party (of Kayne West nonetheless) and hanging out smoking dope with Snoop Dogg I get panicked.

Please tell me we aren’t going to lose Piven in the same way we lost Eminem on that sad day years ago. Please tell me Piven isn’t crossing over. We need him dearly!

Smoking dope with HIP hipsters like Snoop is the first sign of trouble. Just ask Joaquin…

Or maybe he’s just smoking a cigar in that photo. Yeah that’s it, Snoop and him were celebrating the birth of some child. That makes sense. Whew! I almost lost it back there.