White People Hate running.

White people generally don’t have to get anywhere really fast unless they are being chased by an IRS agent, then they run faster than Mark Furman through the Apollo Theater or Arnold Schwarzenegger down Olvera Street. Just look through the anals of history, fat white ladies on a Victorian couch, old time portly sports figures, and of course, Jared from Subway (douche). White people love eating and hate running, which is why you will never see white people running even if they break the law. If you have ever seen the TV show COPS, you will always see white people just putting their hands up in defeat, partly because they can’t wait to tell their friends a jail story, but more so because the thought of running away doesn’t outweigh the fact that they may have their manginity removed by Bubba the Butt Hound down at mens central.