Squirrels

White people hate squirrels. Though white people know that squirrels are nothing but stupid, insect-infested varmints, white people fear the all-knowing looks of squirrels. Not every white person has had the spine-chilling experience of catching a squirrel in a hundred-yard stare down, but for those of us who have, it’s almost as if the squirrel is taunting you. “Sure,” he seems to say. “You’re bigger, faster, and much more attractive than I. But, I will nibble your nose off your face and sell it to gypsies without a second thought.” You laugh to yourself. You comfort yourself. Of course that’s not what the squirrel is thinking. Or is he? (shudder) Oh how white people hate squirrels.