White People Hate exercise.

Look no further than your local diet product, self-help book, or weight loss wonder commercial. There is never anyone but white people (and Oprah) associated with the crackpot industry of losing weight fast. White people have gotten fat over the last several centuries because of their ability to feed off the blood of innocents and extract labor from people of various colors, and now doctors are telling white people that their big bellies are the reason that they’re all kicking off on their 33rd birthdays. But tradition and laziness make white people reluctant to actually get off their sorry asses and deal with the thigh friction for a few weeks while they treadmill off the cottage cheese buildup around their midsection. White people much prefer the hollow promises of oxycontin milkshakes and African witchdoctor mojo cures to actually doing exercise. Partly because white people are stupid, but mostly because they hate exercise.