Celebrity Political Endorsements

Look, celebrity-types: We want to see you flying out of exploding buildings brandishing a semiautomatic while wearing little more than a gun belt. We want to hear you singing about your ex boy/girlfriend, how they treated you like shit and how you don’t care because you’re better off without them. We’ll even pay you some attention when you wipe away the cocaine-induced tears as you accept this month’s award for doing whatever it is you do.

What we don’t give a flying flip about is what you think about politics. You’re a celebrity. That means you’re pretty to look at, you have at least a mediocre voice, you’re rich and/or you’ve been involved in at least one good sex scandal. What it doesn’t mean is that you’re smart or that we give a damn about hearing you say anything that wasn’t directed by Scorsese or delivered by a spokesperson while you were in rehab for the latest addiction.

You are not a political pundit, nor does your stint on a military sitcom qualify you as some sort of expert on foreign policy. In fact, it doesn’t even qualify you to play hide-the-cigar with Clinton in the oval oriface, so shut it!