TWPH: Republicans.

In an election, it seemed fitting to try and understand what white people hate about American politics. White people hate Republicans, and we hate them because they are dicks. You know it, I know it, and even Republicans know it. In fact, many Republicans pride themselves on being dicks (Bill O’Reilly, for example, or Sean Hannity). Some of them, those already mentioned, for example, stick up for things that have all but disappeared just to keep any change from taking place. Hell, they stood opposed to Communists for 15 years after the Cold War ended. But, whether or not we agree with Republican principles, white people are repeatedly reminded that Republicans, especially the ones who’ve been duly elected to public office, are dirt bags who rape and pillage any person, country, or planet that has the bad sense to look away for two seconds. Ask anyone who’s been walking along unawares, only to find Newt Gingrich’s dirty manhood slowly inching its way into their rectum while he distracts them by trying to steal their wallet. It’s criminal, really. No…really. But for all the politicking that takes place in the godforsaken country of ours, for all of the choices white people are forced to make between two equally bad choices come election time, and for all the times that Republicans have won the vote then withdrawn promises about social and economic issues, the real reason white people hate Republicans is because they’re invariably politicians, and white people hate motherf***ing politicians more than anything…oh yeah, and they’re dicks.