White People Hate the IPhone.

The IPhone is clearly a tool of the devil. It gives people of all colors, but especially white people, the option of surfing porn anywhere in the world. A white person could be sitting at dinner with a spouse searching for mpegs of enormously overweight women getting nailed by an entire South American soccer team. Even if people choose not to, the temptation is so overwhelming that the struggle is quite literally the struggle between salvation and damnation. It was bad enough when white people could check their fantasy sports scores while they were on the bus, but the urge to finally give oneself over to a life of slow starvation as a result of choosing porn over food and rent is simply unconscionable. Apple should be ashamed of themselves.