The Two-Hour-Lunch Employee

In every single job I’ve ever had, I have felt entitled to my entire one hour lunch break.  I work my butt off answering phone calls from extremely unpleasant customers and all I ask is for that one hour to leave my desk, throw a yelling, screaming fit in my car, take a shot of tequila from my trusty hip flask, and come back to work soothed and ready for more.  At my new job, however, I have the misfortune of working on a support team where all lunch time breaks are not created equal, and it is making me crazy.  Staggered lunches are the rule, but a few people on this haphazard team have decided they are above the rules…they leave without telling anyone, they take two hour lunches, they cause me to have to give up my break and work through MY break in order satisfy their insatiable lust for overstuffed burgers and cheesy fries.  And I freakin’ HATE it.  Tomorrow, I think I’ll just throw my regular kicking screaming fit inside, right here at my desk.  That’ll show them.  By the time I’m through, they’ll never take a two hour lunch again…and if they do, I’m throwing tequila in their eyes.  With a squeeze of lime and a pinch of salt, of course.  Only the best for my esteemed colleagues.