Top Five Reasons to Hook Up with a Fat Chick

Come on guys, don’t get all holier than thou on me now. We’ve all done it and tried to cover it up with excuses of drunkenness, denial, maybe even a body in the trunk of a car for some of the crazier ones of us. Hooking up with a fat chick is a past time of maleness and is something that will never go away. As the saying goes, as long as there is a McDonalds there will be a fat chick hook up. Now, rather than trying to hide it I thought I would propose some ways to validate it. The below are the five reasons that justify hooking up with a fat chick (in no particular order):

1. You are trying to nail her sister: Nothing shows how much you care more than sacrificing yourself for the happiness of her sister.  She is sure to give you a shot after seeing the sacrifice you made in nailing her chubby little sis.  Her parents will love you more for it too.
2. You just need to blow your load and its better than straining your forearm to rub one out:  This should be an obvious one.  Nailing a fat chick, as gross as some people find it, is still potentially more pleasurable than stroking it in front of your computer screen.  I mean, if you can imagine its Megan Fox when you are doing it to yourself, why can’t you imagine it is Megan Fox when you are getting ridden to the point of breathlessness?
3. Charity:  Every man has a duty to give back to his community.  If you are one of those soup kitchen volunteers or high donors to the Red Cross than maybe this reason doesn’t work as well.  But if you are like most men and haven’t given much back to the community, nailing a fat chick is a good start as it raises society’s overall happiness quotient
4. Boredom:  Boredom can lead men to do many evil things.  Some people pick fights when bored, others do hard drugs.  Heck, some crazies even go on mass killing sprees just to cure the boredom that ails them.  I think it is pretty obvious that nailing a fat chick can cure hours of boredom (i.e. the 20 minutes doing the deed and the weeks of rationalizing it and getting over the regret that is sure to follow).  So nail a fat chick, it could save lives.
5. Revenge:  Nothing is more degrading to the ex-girlfriend who just dumped you to focus on her career/studies than the knowledge that you went out and had unprotected anal sex with a ginormous bitch.  Trust me guys, do it, tape it and send it to your ex……it is as satisfying as life gets.