TWPH: The suffocating wave of 80’s comebacks.

There’s a reason that Buddy Lembeck didn’t go on to star in his own Charles in Charge spin-off.  There’s an equally good reason why Poison slowly withered into obscurity over the last two decades.  And there’s definitely a reason why Anthony Michael Hall was bitch-slapped back to reality when The Breakfast Club fame had faded.  And yet, here we are, 20 years later and Scott Baio, Bret Michaels, Peter Brady, The American Gladiators, and Flava Flav have all returned to their former glory.  Bret Michaels has “music” on the pop charts again, and even Bob Saget recently had a comedy special on HBO.  WTF?!?  White people are obsessed with the promise of progress.  American history books read like Hardy Boys novels with the good guys winning in the end and making the world better than it was when the world started.  Advertisements are always announcing that the product they’re hawking is “new and improved,” obviously having progressed from previous products.  And progress is the great aim and claim of science and technology, from televisions to the iPod.  And yet, somehow, somewhere, someone managed to convince TV executives and TV watching audiences that revisiting the pathetic lives and careers of Danny Tanner and the gang is not only a good idea, but one which fits right into the march of progress toward the much anticipated apocalypse.  If Rita Rudner makes a fresh appearance, white people may bring the apocalypse about themselves, because white people hate 80s comebacks.