Amy Winehouse

June 3rd, 2008  |  Published in Amy Winehouse, Celebrities, Other  |  9 Comments

Amy Winehouse is literally a crackhead. She prances around the streets of London without a shirt on, which white people normally love, but because she is so abnormally skinny from all the crack, she looks a little like Don Knotts in a bra. Add to that image a 4 foot tall beehive with hypodermic needles poking out from every which way, and you’ve got a European beauty fit for an insane asylum. And as if her general crackishness wasn’t enough, she has the irony to sing a song about refusing rehab, as if she could somehow inject herself sober. White people love being quietly whisked away to rehab centers, telling the kids that they went to visit a long lost sick aunt. But Amy Winehouse is such a mess, she can never quietly disappear. She’ll either have to die a horrible, John Belushi-type death in a French hostel or waste away until she’s skinnier than Victoria Beckham after a weeklong fast so we can’t see her anymore. If only poor Amy had been able to hold it together until she had a second album, white people might have decided to like her, but as of right now, white people hate Amy Winehouse.

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Responses

1. leah says:
   

   June 3rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm (#)

   uh…she DOES have a second album…

   It’s called “Back to Black.”

   Her first album is called “Frank.” It won Ivor Novello’s…how can you not know this?

   Your site would be more amusing if you got simple facts right.

   Ciao Ciao x

2. Mike Paahana says:
   

   June 3rd, 2008 at 7:41 pm (#)

   my gf makes herself look like amy with all the make up she uses, an white guys always looking at her the only thing she needs is boobs like amys
3. travis says:
   

   June 4th, 2008 at 7:50 am (#)

   Maybe they don’t get the facts straight cuz they just don’t give a fuck. Who cares how many albums she has–this site is fucking hilarious.
4. Devin says:
   

   June 4th, 2008 at 2:22 pm (#)

   This chick is gonna die soon. She showed up to her latest concert hammered and got booed off the stage after like 4 songs. For a crowd of her “fans” to boo her off knowing damn well she has a serious addiction problem must mean she was awful. You would think she would get sympathy not boos.

   nice boobs int hat picture by the way =)

5. Jim says:
   

   June 10th, 2008 at 5:35 am (#)

   Really? You point out the irony of her song “Rehab”, but you missed the part where that very song is from her second album? Your bio says you are a PhD student, Skinny. Shame on you for not even managing casual research before writing. White people hate ignorance.
6. Skinny says:
   

   June 10th, 2008 at 7:12 am (#)

   Touche, Leah and Jim. Touche.
7. Al Jensen says:
   

   June 10th, 2008 at 3:08 pm (#)

   My mom likes Amy Winehouse, but she’s half Indian.
8. alex says:
   

   June 11th, 2008 at 2:59 am (#)

   Leah and Jim, I find your lack of sense of humor very disturbing… go check Wikipedia if you are on a fact-finding mission… I like to think that the article is a take on the white people and not on Amy, but what do I know…
9. tres says:
   

   September 29th, 2008 at 11:00 am (#)

   whats her draw? bad music bad looks bad use of my last five minutes and i hate that ive wasted five minutes on this

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