Does the sound of entrapping your entire body in a coffin-like structure while bright beams of light shine down on you sound like much fun?
For white people the answer is “YES!”
White people fork over millions of dollars to an industry in the business that is constantly extorts the sun.
I’m talking about tanning booths.
White people love these things especially in the winter. The thought of getting second degree burn and skin cancer is highly addicting.
And when the summer comes…
White people are all over the beaches, some of them blinding us with their pure white guts.
There are a few different categories of white people on the beach:
The True White Dude: This dude likely works in a cubicle all day and sports glasses to meet his whiteness. The rest of his or her culture mocks this person not for his lack of hygiene but for his lack of tan. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!
Farmer Boy: Farmer Boy, or his sister, Farmer Girl – earn their nickname due to the farmer’s tan they sport. These people get a lot of sun but often forget to remove their shirt from time to time. White people really look down on this individual.
Really Tan Dude: This individual is at the beach 24/7. Life guards fit into this category. These people are usually buff or really skinny because they spend the rest of the day at the gym. They spend hours rubbing SPF over their finally sculpted bods.
Is That Chick Orange?: Superficial girls love looking orange apparently. That is exactly what happens when you spend a little too much time with fake tan spray. These people (usually all girls), are slowly creating their own race.
