White People Hate Birds

White people are more afraid of birds than Osama Bin Laden. In fact, Bin Laden was thinking about using volunteer suicide birds to attack the US on Sept. 11, but he couldn’t find enough recruits, although pigeons and seagulls showed up in flocks (pun). Stand on any corner in a big city and watch white people run in horror being chased by crazy rabid birds. ooohhh we can fly, ooohh we can go really far without using much energy, ooohh, we don’t have to pay rent we just live in your crazy 55 year old aunt shirley’s beehive hairdu, yeah well up your butt and around the corner stupid bird. There has never been one pedestrian accident that wasn’t caused by a bird. Just on the news the other day Suzy Q. Honkey was walking down the street innocently sipping her grande latte pachinno when all of a sudden, splat, a nice fresh bird dook right on her new Vera Wang. She later died. White people just know that birds are trying to kill them, what with their dirty feathers and gross beaks, grenade poo, and their twitchy cracked out heads. And lets not forget about the Hitleresque disease that almost wiped out all of mankind, no not craniodiaphyseal dysplasia (Rocky Dennis from Mask, damn that’s gross), but Bird Flu. Thats right, birds created this specifically to kill whitey or at least to mess up the way whitey goes number two. And what did mom teach you to eat when you’re sick with bird flu, yep, chicken noodle soup, CHICKEN = BIRD = KILL WHITEY. Those birds got it all figured out. So the next time a bird drops a deuce on your head you’ll remember why white people hate birds.