White People Hate Seth Green

White people hate Seth Green, not just because he’s not funny, but because he’s a redhead. And white people hate redheads. For centuries, redheads have been seen as a scourge upon this dear planet. Hitler once devoted an entire speech to the subject of wiping Seth Green off the face of the earth – well, not Seth Green because he wasn’t alive then, but you can bet your short and curlies that he would have had he been (yes, an awkward sentence that was). Despite Los Angeles municipal code 37.876RH, which states that any redhead – with the exception of Eric Stoltz (he was on the list, too, but then he helped John Travolta stab a dyin’ bitch in the heart in Pulp Fiction) – will immediately be sent to Neverland Ranch, caged and forced to perform oral sex on MJ’s roaming African Kingdom, Seth Green is allowed to walk the streets. Am I the only one who finds this maddening? Not only does he roam free, but he even throws it back in the white man’s face by playing pranks on hot-ass white celebrity chicks and then having sex with them (allegedly). This has got to stop, people! No more Seth and no more redheads in 2008. That’s my promise. Vote now and receive a Big Red for Prizez button. I rest my case. No more questions.