White People Hate Themselves
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And we all know it’s true. We have drunken, pill-popping, heroin-shooting celebs like Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse to prove it. And anyone who’s ever taken even one look at Joan Rivers’ face…well, need I say more? That woman hates herself more than I hate the fact that George Bush and I are both from Texas (shudder). The truth is, white people probably hate themselves even more than they hate Sarah Palin, decorative throw pillows, dumbasses with name tats, or any of the other umpteen million things the amazingly funny writers on this site have detailed their hatred for. We hate ourselves so much that we inject our foreheads with poison to plump out the wrinkles, suck fat out of our stomachs to de-plump the mid-drift, and put water balloons in our chests if we’re female and over our calf muscles if we’re male, all to convince ourselves that we are more beautiful, more fit, more thin, that the next person in line, white or not. With white people, the key word is always MORE. More money, more friends, more clothes in the walk-in closet. Hell, even more addictions, more negative publicity, more horribly bad, “unintentionally leaked” sex tapes. And we doubly hate when we can’t get more. Whatever that more happens to be. Hell, we probably even hate ourselves for hating ourselves, something a therapist could surely fix, if we didn’t hate ourselves too much to actually go.
9:37 am
I didn’t hate myself ’til I read this post but then I felt left out so I kicked my new puppy to make up for lost time.
Thanks.
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9:44 am
Haha. I’ve always hated myself.
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11:13 am
George W. Bush is not from Texas. He is from Connecticut. He just used our state to launch his bid for President and abandoned his commitment to Texas, leaving Gov. Goodhair to end up as the longest serving Governor in the state’s history while booting out one of the best we have ever had – Ann Richards. Again, buying a ranch in Crawford does not make one a Texan; he grew up in Connecticut.
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11:51 am
Granted, Bush was not born in Texas, but he was raised in Texas from a child in both Midland and Houston. He was a Texas governor, and he co-owned the Texas Rangers. I’d say all these factors together outweigh where he was born, which seems more coincidental than anything else…he was actually raised in Texas, he’s made Texas his home as an adult, he has the accent, and I’d guess if asked he’d claim to be a Texan. That doesn’t make me like it, but it doesn’t make it an incorrect fact.
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1:44 pm
Hey, I’m not seeing any monopoly of self hate… But everybody’s got to put in their fair share… Feeling a little bit…nope, it’s passed. Heck, there’s a shortage of self hate out there….Let’s drill for more!!!
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1:55 am
Ha ha ha! I came to Comments to post, virtually word for work, what Brandy Eileen posted … even to the comment on Ann Richards! As to the rest … guess I’m not White after all. This is a surprise!
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