Things God Hates

White people love to feel like they’re important, so they all got together many years ago and decided that there’s no better way to feel important than to get God on their side.  They sent out emissaries to the great wide world to convert the Jews, the Africans, Indians, and other assorted “unimportant” people.  Now, white people are reaping the benefits because they have God on their side.  But they don’t want to piss God off, so they make sure to hate whatever they think God hates—gays, foreigners, drug users, Canadians, and Muslims.  For good measure, they also hate anything that God might one day hate, like the Alaskan wilderness and gun control.  White people can never be too careful—they hate not being too careful.