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Jim: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, once again I’m Jim Black and along side me is my colleague Bob White. Welcome to the second “Will Honkey Win?” event, featuring a battle between young female stars Miley “Snaggle Tooth” Cyrus and Selena “Not J-Lo” Gomez. The chicks appear ready to begin battling and “ding” there goes the bell. Selena starts off strong as she reaches for Miley’s hoop earrings and rips them out of their holes. Miley is screaming in pain as she looks over to daddy-Bill for support.

Bob: Ouch, that has to hurt, too bad for Miley he dad, ‘Beauty-Queen’ Billy, is preoccupied looking at his hair in the reflection from his metal chair. I mean, the guy is ringside at his daughter’s bout and he still only cares about his pretty hair. What a douche.

Jim: Right you are Bob, he is a douche. Miley is on her knees as Selena continues to taunt her with chola-lingo. Man, Miley should have known, never mess with a chola chick, them bitches can fight. Miley seems down for the count, but is reaching into her shirt. What is she doing Bob?

Bob: I think she’s going for it…yes, I think she is going for it. The green bra has come out. Whoa my!

Jim: Look at this folks, Miley has managed to get Selena in a choke hold and is attempting to strangle her with the infamous green bra. Selena’s arms are waving as she tries to push Miley off of her. Wait a minute, wait a minute, it looks like Selena is starting to gain some traction back.

Bob: Look at this folks. Apparently the green bra was not big enough to wrap around Selena as Miley has yet to spring for the obligatory teen star boob job and is as flat as a table. Selena has managed to get out from under the training bra. Uh oh, Miley may be in trouble as Selena looks pissed.

Jim: Selena is back to whaling on Miley. This one is going to end ugly. Now Mickey Mouse has entered the ring as well and he and Selena are pouncing on Miley (I guess Miley shouldn’t have pissed off Disney with her green bra antics). Mickey with a kick to the teeth and Selena with another. This is starting to look like a Bushwacker fight from back in the old WWF days. Miley is clearly in trouble. Oh my, here come the Jonas Brothers. They too have joined in to pounce on Miley. I guess Miley has really pissed off a lot of people with her recent antics and they are all exacting revenge.

Bob: The Jonas Brothers appear to be tiring. I guess that’s what they get for wearing a cashmere scarf to an MMA fight. Homos.

Jim: My thoughts exactly Bob, homos. And now the referee has stepped in and appears to be stopping the fight to protect Miley from further damage. Yup, its over, Selena wins by a landslide. Well, there you have it. This one was not even close as Selena had her from the start. Miley is being carried out of the ring by her manager……daddy-Bill is still picking his teeth in front of his metal chair. Thanks for joining us tonight and tune in next week as George Bush battles Chinese president Hu Jintao in what is sure to be an exciting match.

*”Would Honkey Win?” is a special five part feature here at ThingsWhitePeopleHate.com that pits celebrities against each other in a fictional MMA Fight Extravaganza.  Form more, clickon the “Special Features” tab at the top of the page or click here to read the recaps of past MMA battles.