It makes sense for companies and organizations to register their name as a trademark, however I’m not sure Jersey Shore nicknames are valid.

Just don’t tell those idiots that. “Pauly D” (incredibly unique nickname BTW) is not the first nor the second Jersey Shore loser to attempt and lock down his or her nickname. As previously noted, “The Situation” and “Snooki” were first in line. Now, Pauly D would like a slice of the patent pie. – P - applied for a trademark on the name “DJ Pauly D,” which he plans to use strictly for his “disc jockey services.”

Did someone say “jock itch”? The only thing more irritating (and less creative) then reality star nicknames are the stage names of rap stars and current nicknames of NBA players. When I hear AK-47 and CP-3, I’m not sure if we are talking about basketball or explosive devices. When I see the name “Lil” attached to almost every rapper, I assume the hip-hop genre is extremely lucrative for midgets.

For all I care, you might as well slap the titles ”Jerk,” “Loser,” “D-Bag,” and “D**k Weed” to every reality star in the world. What’s the world coming to when these “stars” feel the need to trademark their own little pathetic existence? 

We need to establish a division inside the U.S. Copyright Office which is only assigned the task of separating good nicknames from bad nicknames. If someone desires to patent a nickname, they damn sure need to create something ultra-genius like “UggaDuggaMugga Sauce.” Taking the first letter of your first name and merging it with half of your last name does not count (sorry 75% of NBA players).

Seriously, whatever happened to the days when a group of bullies picked on you day in and day out and then assigned you a nickname? At least it had some substance. Which brings me to another point. When, aside from the past ten years, was it cool to have a nickname? Nicknames usually associate some negative quality with a person, are catchy, and become attached to you for years.

I’m still haunted by the teenage nick – “Little Weenie Jeanie.” Thus, I’m also going to patent it next week.

According to Southwest Airlines, the biggest threat to modern airlines is not terrorists, but potty mouth Kevin Smith. This comes after the independent filmmaker was thrown off a Southwest flight this weekend for being a “safety risk” – a polite way of saying he was deemed too fat to fly.

Smith was flying from Oakland to Burbank and according to his own tweets, was seated and ready to go when a Southwest attendant “told me Captain Leysath deemed me a ’safety risk.’”

Later, Smith informed fans on Twitter (along with the photo above) that he had left Oakland on an SW flight. Smith received a $100 voucher for his trouble and a few apologetic tweets from SWA, but was it enough? Based on the number of four-letter words from his Twitter page, Smith may have not accepted the apology.

For more on this story, check out the battle via our favorite little bird.

No word yet if Jay was along for the ride as well.