Color Commentators

Surely it would be too easy to say white people would like color commentators if they were simply colorless commentators or beige commentators.  But, the truth is, white people hate color commentators for another reason: they suck balls.  Color commentators are like trained monkeys, filling dead time with assorted tricks and stunts.  They talk about all manner of things that no one in their right mind gives a shit about.  For example, when I’m watching a football game, the last thing I need to hear from Al Michaels is that the quarterback lost 17 pounds during his freshman year of high school, which made him too small to be a full back.  Don’t care, Al.  Don’t care that Misty May-Trainer has a prosthetic spleen.  Don’t care that Alex Rodriguez once mooned a nunnery.  In fact, 90% of the things that come out of color commentators’ mouths makes me wish they were severely injured in some sort of act of God which prevents them getting treatment because their insurance won’t cover their extensive injuries.  I hate them.  Screw color commentators.