ReynsGems – The Greatest Hits Collection

I open up with tonight’s greatest hit…Chris Brown!

And the drums go: dum dum dumph…

Sorry for the cheesy opener, I’ll try to make that my last.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is my very first post on Things White People Hate, which I must say is a childhood dream. I sort of feel like Conan O’Brien right now, preparing for his first late night show taking over for Jay Leno. So in the spirit, I will keep my ego in check and interview myself, congratulating me on my success…

REYNS GEMS: It’s awful nice to have you on ThingsWhitePeopleHate.com…

Reyns Gems: Thank you, I’m happy to be here.

REYNS GEMS: You said this was a childhood dream?

Reyns Gems: It most definitely was. I hope to make more people laugh than that woman with all those babies.

REYNS GEMS: The octuplets mom? I think people actually hate her.

Reyns Gems: Oh they do? I thought everyone loved babies.

REYNS GEMS: Maybe you’re not exactly what ThingsWhitePeopleHate.com really needs?

Reyns Gems: How dare you. That’s like questioning whether or not Mike Tyson hit Robin Givens.

REYMS GEMS: You seem to be obsessed with people hitting other people. Especially celebrities in the media lime light.

Reyns Gems: Hey, I just call ‘em how I see ‘em.

REYNS GEMS: Any last words?

Reyns Gems: I just hope I can make you all laugh longer than Nick Cannon. And if I can’t, I’ll keep my career alive another twenty years doing stupid celebrity reality shows.