White People Hate Soccer
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White people are so opposed to soccer for so many reasons. Number one, white people aren’t very good at soccer; number two, people who aren’t white love soccer; and number 3, soccer has the gall to be called “football” outside of the United States of America. Some people might think that white people can be good at soccer, since many Europeans who are white play soccer religiously.
However, science has shown us two things: white people really only live in America—all other people who are white have some sort of ethnic or national identification that helps them avoid being white people (i.e. Irish, British, Polish, etc.); and Europeans don’t play soccer, they play “football”. In fact, because white people only exist in the U.S., the penetrating success of soccer everywhere else in the world is a constant affront to whitey, who knows good and well that anything not American is stupid.
So white people consol themselves with American football, a sport which requires very little special use of feet, and Nascar, because watching cars go round and round in circles isn’t too taxing on the old thinking machine. But every time the World Cup comes around, white people are assaulted with soccer, forced to watch as the white teams inevitably lose to Brazil, Argentina, and Senegal because ESPN stubbornly refuses to ignore ¾ of Planet Earth. White people hate losing, they hate watching other white people lose, and so white people hate soccer.
6:59 pm
Soccer is a great sport. We Americans would watch more of it, if our rich media moguls would program it more. And when our Vice President hopeful is touted as a soccer mom we all flenched. However, Nascar is not watched because of cars going around in a circle. We working Americans have had to work on our on Damn transmissions, engines, and in general transportation to get to work all our lives. When the mechanics speak of a C-6 410 ratio with a 450 horsepower Ford bigblock 350 modifide 400, we know what their talking about. How many Pepboy, Autozone, Advance, Crowburlingame, and NAPA stores you got in your neighborhood… asshole.
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4:46 pm
Stupid bugger! White Europe looooves soccer! And its catching on in the States. So fuck you. We love soccer!
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9:21 pm
Soccer flat-out sucks.
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8:56 pm
Current FIFA World Soccer Rankings:
1. Spain
2. Germany
3. Netherlands
4. Italy
5. Brazil
6. Argentina
7. Croatia
8. Russia
9. England
10. Portugal
I doubt aside from Ryan Babel on the Netherlands, there is a single black person on any of those top four teams. I guess whites hate football (soccer), we just happen to be really good at it.
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11:11 am
This is the most ignorant article i’ve ever read. Soccer is dominated in america by middle-class white players. That’s why were not great at it.
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1:11 pm
hahahaha this is very dumb white americans do like soccer, i L O V E soccer and im white i hate american football and nascar. You dont know anything about white americans i bet.
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