Rihanna has been linked to dating people such as Matt Kemp, Shia LaBeouf, Josh Hartnett, Omarion, Kayne West, Aubrey Graham, Justin Timberlake, and…unfortunately…Chris Brown.

Question is…who should she date? (after me of course)

Johnny Depp

This one is too easy. When it comes to “Sexiest Man Alive” polls, Depp is about as dependable as a pervert in a hotel room next to Erin Andrews. Aka He’s going to deliver. Which begs the question, if Rihanna is easily one of the most sexy females on the planet, what would an offspring of Johnny Depp and Rihanna look like? You be the judge.

John Legend

Do not know who the hell John Legend is? Just think of him as a way more talented Chris Brown. You got it. Plus, his name is badass.

Charles Manson

The dude may be clinically insane, but that didn’t stop him from flocking women like John Mayer. So, if while still on death row, Manson could land Rihanna – we would be impressed as much as we are disturbed. Considering of course, that Manson one day predicted the black race would take over America.

Justin Bieber

The relationship may be classified as statutory rape in some regions of the world, yet if Justin Bieber can be nominated for a BET Award, the dude can also nail Rihanna. Nuff said.

Tiger Woods

…And the Woods saga takes another turn for the unexpected.

Hey, at least I would maybe watch golf then.

Check back on Friday for the rest of the ten candidates…

That is a little harsh and quick to judgment don’t ya think?

Not for this dude. This dude deftinitely has “creep-o” plastered all across his forehead.

Some concerned big wigs over at Disney informed the LAPD about the recent arrest of a 53-year-old obsessed fan in Georgia who claims Miley sends him “secret messages” through her TV show.

Georgia cops arrested Mark McLeod for disorderly conduct on June 23 in Tybee Island, GA — and during the incident cops say the guy made some very frightening statements about Miley.

According to the police report, McLeod claimed he was “great friends with Miley” — and that Miley had “told him to come see her today.”

Cops say McLeod also said, “I will f***ing be with Miley … we’re supposed to be together and [the cops] couldn’t stop it.”

Here’s the creepiest part — cops say McLeod claimed Miley sent him “secret messages” on her television show directed only to him and that McLeod also boasted about having “thousands of pictures and letters to Miley on his computer.”

Now that’s a creep-o!

No the dude is not fresh off a crack stint, but rather geared up to play his newest role - heroin addicted boxer Dicky Eklund.

The 35-year-old who once famously dropped 63 pounds for his role in “The Machinist” and then quickly bulked up for “Batman Begins,” may have broken his previous record.

Now that my friend, is acting.

The apple is a nice touch. Altough I don’t know any heroin addicts who snack on apples. Maybe you can enlighten me in terms of his diet.

No word yet on whether or not Bale is keeping it all together on set.

Depp, Director Michael Mann, and co-star Marion Cotillard all enjoyed a meal and some drinks after a preimer of Depp’s new film, “Public Enemy.”

The group’s bill came to 4,400 dollars and after paying, generous J forked out the hefty tip for waiter Mohammed A Sekhani.

Sekhani told a local newspaper, ”He may be one of the most famous actors in the world but he is a very humble guy and a really cool dude.”

A really humble dude that can afford a $4,000 tip?

The waiter said Johnny and his pals dined on shrimp cocktails and clams and said the star “ordered some 500 dollar bottles of Italian wine”.

Sekhani said the unexpected windfall was split between several members of staff at Gibson’s Steakhouse.

Ah, come on man now you’re being too humble. You should have said he gave you a $100 tip and pocketed the rest.

Sometimes it’s nice to see some stars are actually cool and humble enough to help out the average-Joe.

We had to steal another dumb thing from black people.

Nothing after all is more classy or cooler than literally blowing away your money.

If anyone needs further doubt, search the web for a cell phone video of a Pitbull concert in Aspen, Colorado where the rapper straight out slugs a dude for “making it rain.”

Pitbull Slugs Guy in Face

“Making it rain” might very well be the dumbest invention ever created so naturally white people had to jump on the fad as soon as possible.

Come on people side with me here. How many parties have you attended in the past few months where at least one dude there is break dancing by himself in the middle of the room “making it rain.” Is it possible to be a bigger poser than Vanilla Ice?

Whose tired of this ridiculous concept?

For English dude turned boxer turned second round KO, Ricky Hatton, the answer was simple.

“Hand me over a Guinness.”

“The Hitman” was not so much this weekend after a dude who goes by the nickname “Pacman” virtually destroyed him in two rounds. Manny Pacquiao conquered Hatton by knocking him down twice in the first round and one more final time in the second.

So Hatton drowned in his sorrows yesterday, according to TMZ.com, with a good old pint of Guinness.

“Cheers!”

Hello everyone and welcome to the first installment of “Getting Ill with Phil” a special segment that allows me to discuss my inner struggles with an actual black man named Phil Harrison.

Phil and I met about three years ago in New Jersey. Since that time I have often sought Phil’s advice on black people, pop culture, and women.

We often talk about girls that a white dude like myself has not shot in the heck of landing. Today’s topic of discussion? How about Kim Kardashian. KK is one letter short of a bad word and one inch shy of the biggest behind in Hollywood. What that equals? Double trouble and a discussion about why KK would be better off dating a white dude like myself…

ReynsGems: Man, Kim Kardashian is one hot mama, even if I have no idea what she’s famous for.

Phil: She’s also very rich, stuck up, and dirtier than the bad side of a penny.

ReynsGems: Nice comparison, Phil. So why does Kim always seem to appeal the Dark Side?

Phil: That’s a little racist don’t ya think? I think Kim prefers bruthas for the reason almost all rich, white girls prefer bruthas.

ReynsGems: And that being?

Phil: We consider the finer things in life.

ReynsGems: I guess I still don’t understand. Anways, Kim fits my description of the perfect woman. Big booty, nice breasts (abit fake), and gorgeous face.

Phil: And yet she’s still dating Reggie Bush.

ReynsGems: And what’s that suppose to mean?

Phil: Unless you run the 40 in 4.2 seconds, bench press 400 pounds, and accept illegal benefits from USC you have no shot in hell.

ReynsGems: Interesting way to look at it, but still! How about if I date one of her sisters and try to work my way up to her?

Phil: Work your way up to her? Come on man, you don’t even have a shot at that.

ReynsGems: I enjoy their reality show on E!?

Phil: That makes you the only one.

ReynsGems: Now that was cold.

Phil: Tell me dawg, you ever see her sex tape?

ReynsGems: Seen? I consider that a manual in film.

Phil: A manual?

ReynsGems: You know, some of the angles used in the shots. The close up on Ray J’s face –

Phil: Hold right there.

ReynsGems: Enough with the chit-chat Phil, can I get ill with Kim Kardashian or not?

Phil: Hell no.

ReynsGems: But I can still watch?

Phil: Whatever floats your boat, man.

ReynsGems: Nice!