The only thing more pointless and ignorant than ICP is the fecal matter that composes the fan base itself.

For those of you who did not grow up in the 90s or decide to get past the phase of painting your face like a child on Halloween, ICP stands for “Insane Clown Posse,” and the name is fairly accurate to the douche bags who take honor in such a ridiculous act.  

Take for example the Clowns, or the more politically correct “Juggalos,” vicious attacked on former TV reality star Tila Tequila early Saturday morning. 

Tequila was hit by stones and feces immediately after she emerged on-stage, all part of the four-day Gathering of the Juggalos, a term more appropriate for dudes who like to slam each other in the butthole at a homosexual orgy.

Tila told TMZ, “I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, dudes were throwing huge stone rocks in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the s**t out of the port-0-potty and threw s**t and piss at me when I was onstage.”

Classy. 

While all of this sounded like a blast, really, it turns out that one of the “many” recorded highlights included a former wrestler saying that he loved seeing Vanilla Ice perform “Ninja Rap” from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze soundtrack.

Two things Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young does not f**k around with.

Over the weekend, Vince Young was kicked out of a club after he socked the manager square in the face. And what, you may ask, would ignite such an ugly conclusion?

Surcharges.

Vince, a multi-millionaire professional athlete, was apparently unhappy about having to pay a surcharge required to withdraw money from the club’s ATM. The manager got involved and all hell broke loose.

The manager, who also happens to be from Oklahoma, flashed an upside down “hook ‘em horns” hand signal and said “f**k the Longhorns” to Vince. That’s when Young allegedly decked the manager in the face and had to be dragged out of the club.

According to KDFW, Young was issued a “Class C assault” citation today. The sentence could carry up to a $500 fine…or far more than the ATM surcharge.

Tennessee Titans fans take heed, the toss was easily the best of Vince Young’s NFL career.

I mean, let’s face it, none of us could ever get anywhere close to this chick in the real world, yet her cold heart lets us get ever so close to her in the celebrity world.  I’m not telling her to stop or anything, but I refuse to pretend what she is doing is kind.  She is just flat out cruel….a meany even.

CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW MEAN.

Lindsay Lohan

Rarely do you see a super skinny woman with a nice pair of breasts, but Lindsay Lohan continues to defy all odds. And let’s face it, this is one problem of hers we do mind.

Mariah Carey

Carey may have a lot of plastic surgery, be crazy, and engaged to Nick Cannon (which we’re pretty sure is the worst of the three), but she does have an awful nice rack. She also has some talent which is a nice “accessory.”

Christina Aguilara

Christina Aguilara has sort of went MIA since her baby, but one thing that has not is her breasts. Aguilara still apparently has the genie in the bottle.

Carmen Electra

Carmen Electra is (gasp) over 40 and still has an incredible body. Now if we could do something about all those horrendous Scary Movies she’s been in.

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett is clearly the “classy” girl on the list and believe me, she will not waste a beat before she informs you on such matters. Johansson may have some serious acting chops and intellectual credibility thanks to Woody Allen, but she’s still the young women with some very grown-up features.

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian may be well known for her gigantic booty, but she also has a nice set of twins up top. It’s good she has looks because she damn sure does not have anything else going for her.

Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek sports an amazing rack and her sexy accent goes a long way into what makes you adore her. That is, of course, if you can ever lift your eyes up to her face.

Posh Spice

Posh Spice, now the significant other of David Beckham, never fails to “perk” up my day. Too bad she has bad tastes in sports…and men.

Halle Berry

Halle Berry has never been shy to expose herself in front of a camera. Thankfully, this tandem was the only reason she won an Oscar yet all her praise went to breaking racial barriers. Ah, what breasts can do for peace.

Pamela Anderson

How can Pam-And seriously not crack the top of this list? A person could seriously get lost inside those puppies! Pamela, I no longer love you anymore….NOT!

Let me explain in detail.

Better Off Dead

Can we finally all reach an agreement that most controversial “has-beens” are better off dead. Let’s face it…five years ago no one cared about Michael Jackson. We had all finally reached a conclusion that Jacko was a strange, twisted little man who just wanted his peace and quiet.

The proposed upcoming tour was suppose to restore his image but instead we received a tainted, over blown portrayal from the media after his death. Jackson died, the explanation as to why became a circus, and then the media crowned him poster boy of ’09. Jackson was no longer this strange ‘white’ dude but now a pop sensation and a hero. Jackson was beloved again. Al Sharpton wanted to create a national holiday in his honor. Thousands attended his funeral and thus also made that a circus.

Now we’re suppose to believe that this film, an actual collection of just raw footage and material from his rehearsals is the final hurrah similar to Tom Hanks send off in “Saving Private Ryan”?

Get real.

Sadly, we all wrote Jackson off as a nutcase during his last few years on earth. Now that he is dead, it’s acceptable to like him again.

Dead Celebrities are Huge Money Makers

I was in Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a collection of Michael Jackson posters for sale in the kids department. Oh that makes sense! Let’s sell a poster with some strange looking dude to children because they see his face all over the media. Surely then will they appreciate his musical brilliance! I mean, I know for a fact they all grew up enjoying all his classics.

A lot of people have banked on Tupac Shakur’s death for years now, and if MJ’s paranoia for death was as great as Pac’s, I’m guessing dudes would pound out record after record of unreleased music for years in the future too. But you don’t need the music because there are t-shirts, posters, and bumper stickers dying to be sold.

I truly feel bad for the Jackson family, but I do believe (whether they comprehend it or not) are turning their son/brother into a marketing ploy while greedy businessmen laugh all the way to the bank.

The American Public Will Bite Anything You Feed Them

Now for the ultimate test. Imagine filmmakers trying to pitch an idea about a film showcasing Jackson’s incredible talent to studio executive’s five years ago. Do they take the bite? I don’t think so. Why? Because Hollywood will only purchase what they think will sell. Rock and Roll sells. Sex sells. Michael Jackson five years ago? Not a chance.

What about an uplifting story transforming Jackson’s sad spiral downhill to one of restored fame thanks to the hottest tour this year? You’re right! Robert Downing Jr. would be perfect!

Now Jackson is dead and the average American public “has to see this film.” Joe Jackson believes the film is “Oscar worthy.”

Maybe the film is really good? I don’t know because I haven’t seen it.

I do know I refuse to be the next sucker who flocks to a theater while others take advantage of emotions (and the average naiive American) just like they did after 9/11.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t support Jackson or feel remorse for what happened, but were you honestly a fan? Sure you liked a song or two, but five years ago would you have went to a movie that featured Michael Jackson?

Dane Cook’s half brother, Darryl McCauley, may just finish in a distant second.

McCauley was indicted in Massachusetts on twenty additional counts of larceny for allegedly stealing more than $11 million from Dane Cook over a nearly five-year period.

Ouch.

Brotherly love’s a B aint it?

The new charges appear on the heels of eight counts back in March where Middlesex (ha, Middle Sex) County prosecutors say McCauley transferred company funds into his personal bank account.

Prosecutors allege McCauley embezzled the cash while acting as Cook’s business manager between March 2004 and Dec. 2008.

The case sure says a lot about McCauley and even more about the dough Cook is rolling in – especially considering it took almost five years for anyone to notice it.

Other than this embezzlement case I’ve heard McCauley is a real good guy and great half-brother.

GLAAD was furious to find out that Perez Hilton used a gay slur to attack Will.I.Am.com on Sunday night and even asked for an apology even if it came via Twitter.

So what did Hilton have to say about all this? Let’s just say the former GLAAD employee was not very happy.

“I am saddened GLAAD chose to victimize me further by criticizing me for how I non-violently dealt with a very scary situation that, unfortunately, turned violent. While I doubt I will get an apology from GLAAD, nor do I expect one, I would just hope people know how difficult it is to intellectualize a situation and think rationally when a thug disguised as a musician is screaming at your face and intimidating you. I am just very fortunate and grateful that nothing more serious happened to me.”

Let me take a moment to pause and laugh.

The picture above is like medicine to a bad day.

The photo which was obtained by Canadian web site DrinktheGlitter.com shows a clenched fist seconds after rearranging Hilton’s face. The expression on his face is priceless. It’s one of those “a picture can say a million words” type of things.

The fist continues to remain unanimous although Hilton now claims it was Polo and not Will.I.Am.com who threw it.

Why would anyone want to get a tattoo on their face?

I just don’t get it.

For a particular 18 year old in Belgian, three small stars tatted on her face sounded like no big deal.

That is until she woke up and discovered 56 stars over one side of her face.

“I said this part, the top, is ok, but not the rest,” Kimberley Vlaeminck told Belgian broadcaster VRT.

The 18-year-old said she fell asleep during the procedure and woke up in pain when her nose was being tattooed.

What kind of monster would do this?

Would you get a tattoo from this freak?

This dude.

However, the tattoo artist claims Vlaeminck had agreed to 56 stars and changed her story after her father discovered “the work of art.”

Talk about a tat-tle tale.

Vlaeminck stated she wanted to keep the tattoos on her forehead but would have the rest removed.

Oh that will make you attractive to the fellas.