Here are 10 songs that are badly misinterpreted by the contemporary world:

Bob Dylan, “Mr. Tambourine Man”

Misconception: It’s about drugs, right?

This perception became popular after the film Dangerous Minds was released as it is widely speculated to be an ode to mind-altering drugs (with Mr. Tambourine Man supposedly representing Dylan’s drug dealer). However, Dylan himself claims to have been introduced to LSD after the song had been written. Dylan insists the song was never about drugs, but rather the search for inspiration. He also claims the title character of Mr. Tambourine Man was actually inspired by musician Bruce Langhorne, who played a large Turkish tambourine during many of Dylan’s previous recording sessions.

Bryan Adams, “Summer of 69″

Misconception: The band’s autobiography

In the summer of 1969, Bryan Adams was 10 years old, or well too young to play guitar, join a world successful band, as well as fall in love. Believe it or not, the upbeat nostalgia of this song wasn’t inspired by an actual year, but rather Mr. Adams’ fondness for a certain sexual position. According to Adams, the lyrics detailing a fondly remembered musical summer were mostly filler, because the song was actually about “making love in the summertime.”

Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody”

Misconception: Describes Mercury’s struggle with AIDS

Queen’s classic was once rumored to reference Freddie Mercury’s battle with AIDS. The members of Queen have been intentionally vague over the years about the true meaning of the lyrics, however Mercury had been quoted as saying the words were simply “random rhyming nonsense” that were just written to fit the music. Furthermore, the AIDS epidemics of the early 80′s took place years after this song had been completed.

Police, “Every Breath You Take”

Misconception: It’s a love song

Arguably the Police’s most popular song, “Every Breath You Take” has been played during countless weddings and other romantic functions as it’s widely believed to be a gentle love song. Quite the contrary actually. According to Sting, the song is about love but a song that was wrote during the collapse of his marriage, amidst feelings of jealousy and obsession over his lost lover. It’s more stalker than “unconditional lover.”

Dave Matthews Band, “Crash into Me”

Misconception: Sexy love song

Dave Matthews’ soft and sincere delivery must distract some listeners from the creepy lyrics, as this song is not an appropriate love song. Matthews has admitted it is, indeed, a love song, but one that has been written from the perspective of a peeping tom. Matthews has also jokingly stated this song was written as an alternative to getting arrested. Well said.

Eagles, “Hotel California”

Misconception: The song worships the devil

Easily one of the more bizarre declarations, many believe that the ominous and abstract nature of “Hotel California’s” lyrics have led to numerous interpretations including one that asserts the song referred to a hotel purchased by Anton LaVey, the founder of the Church of Satan. The spooky imagery in the album cover art along with lyrics like, “they just can’t kill the beast” contributed to this myth. Don Henley and Glenn Frey have stated the song is really metaphorically describing excess in America and the Los Angeles high life that the band experienced.

Bruce Springsteen, “Born in USA”

Misconception: Patriotic song

The anthem for American patriotism is actually extremely critical of the United States. The song was written in response to the negative impact the Vietnam war had on Americans, but the catchy patriotic refrain is apparently a little too catchy to point out the obvious.

Tom Petty, “American Girl”

Misconception: It’s about suicide

Legend has it that Tom Petty wrote this song about a University of Florida student that committed suicide after she jumped off her dorm room balcony. Petty is from Gainesville, where the university is located, and Highway 441 (mentioned in the lyrics) does pass by the school, lending credibility to the story. However, Petty himself has insisted that this story is an urban legend, and the lyrics were actually inspired by the sounds of the freeway near his apartment in Encino, California.

Phil Collins, “In the Air Tonight”

Misconception: Witnessed a preventable death

The dark, accusatory lyrics of this song lent themselves to one of the most well known incorrect meanings. The story says that Phil Collins saw someone drowning once from far away, and that a third person, who was close enough to help, either ignored or refused to help the drowning person.

Appalled by this, Collins penned this tune as an anonymous condemnation of the person’s cowardice and/or apathy. Some versions of the story have Collins finding this person at one of his shows and even singing it directly to them. Of course Collins says that story is incorrect, and the lyrics actually arose from the bitterness and anger he felt while going through his divorce.

James Taylor, “Fire in the Sky”

Misconception: Girlfriend died in plane crash

The sad refrain and apocalyptic lyrics of one of James Taylor’s most famous songs gave rise to a belief that the song dealt with the lost of his girlfriend. The story, however, is fictional and the song was actually written over time, with each of the three verses dealing with a different aspect of his life: from the death of a friend, to his frustration in music, to his brief time spent in an institution.

Beatles, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”

Misconception: Another song about LSD

John Lennon claimed this song was inspired by a drawing his son produced and that he had no idea that the first letters of the words “Lucy,” “Sky,” and “Diamonds” were a reference to LSD. The lyrics certainly sound like some sort of drug-induced hallucination, but Lennon insisted that was never his intention.

Thanks to ListVerse

Everyone should already know that a Man’s priorities are to such:

1. A Dog
2. His Toilet Seat
3. A Woman (or in Tiger’s case, ‘many a women’)

That is why I’m not in the least bit surprised Hulk Hogan recently made a big deal out of wanting his “wooden antique toilet seat” back from his ex-wife Linda.

According to legal documents (thanks to TMZ.com), the legendary wrestler accuses Linda of stripping his home of all sorts of valuable items such as chandeliers, a tanning bed (dammit, I knew he tanned!), a wine rack, fixtures, bathrubs, speakers, and the infamous toilet seat from the guest house.

Which brings up a great question, why is the toilet seat so coveted if it was reserved for guests only?

In the docs, Hulk claims Linda’s alleged pillaging left the home in such a bad state, that Hogan refuses to let his realtor show the place to potential buyers.

In the meantime, the only place Hogan can take a dump is at the nearby “porta-potty.”

God Help this man!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

While we have nothing against the “masculine” Pirates of the Caribbean star, Deep’s coronation means I lost the annual TPH Sexiest Man Alive pool.

Yes, we have a Sexiest Man Alive pool. What else would we bet on? It’s not like there’s an annual super-big football game or a 65-team basketball tournament held in the spring?

Bottom line, we at Things People Hate like to get in on the action so we obvious gravitate towards the cut throat world of sexy men competitions.

I thought this would be my year to win. I studied long and hard. I poured over photo after photo of every sexy man in the entertainment industry. I crunched the numbers. On more than one occasion I even broke a sweat. Yet, after doing all that intense homework, I still lost!

I never would have picked the 46-year-old Depp, after all he was named SMA in 2003. He’s now in the two-timers club with Brad Pitt and George Clooney.

Once again, for the fifth year in a row, ReynsGems won the TPH Sexiest Man Alive pool. He really has a knack for picking sexy guys. Bastard!

Worst yet, we each picked three candidates. ReynsGems was so deep into Depp that he skipped his other two picks. He was fully behind Depp.

I, on the other hand, choose Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds, and Gilles Marini. I can take some solace in knowing that all three made the larger Sexiest Men Alive list. But close only counts in horse shoes and our annual Tony Awards pool.

Celebrity Hater went with Robert Patinson, the Glee Guys, and Adam Lambert. All three failed to surpass Depp but they did make that 2009 SMA list.

The Sexiest Man Alive People is now out on newsstands. Of course, I lost so much in the pool I can’t afford to buy it and I don’t dare borrow ReynsGems’ used copy.

I guess I’ll shift my focus on preparing for out next office pool, wagering on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue—not the model but the designer of her swimsuit.

Come on Badgley Mischka, daddy needs a new pair of shoes!

A man was arrested today after “allegedly” assaulting a security guard that tried to stop him from getting into Ryan Seacrest’s car.

As the American Idol host was piling into his ride, 25-year-old Chidi Benjamin Uzomah Jr. decided to get in too. Security guards immediately stepped in and eventually subdued Uzomah.

Seacrest, who was not injured in the incident, got out of the way as soon as the mele erupted. Dollars to doughnuts he screeched like a little girl.

“Ryan pulled away as the thing started,” said Sgt. Dan Adams. “He wasn’t involved and didn’t see anything.”

That sounds like an odd comment but it was important to say Seacrest didn’t see anything so he doesn’t have to testify in court. That claim is further strengthened by the fact that there was no mention of this incident on Seacrest’s Twitter page.

Uzomah “allegedly” choked one of the guards and did so to such a degree that he nearly fell unconscious.

The Orange County Police Department has yet to uncover a motive for Uzomah’s actions, but it’s pretty obvious why he did it.

Clearly, Uzomah is an international spy. As he was parachuting into Los Angeles a microfilm fell out of his pocket and into Seacrest’s car through the sunroof. Uzomah was only trying to retrieve the asset before the Russians got their paws on it. Duh!

Prior to the altercation, the ubiquitous Seacrest had been signing autographs at the Children’s Hospital of Orange county—he enjoys being around people that are shorter than him. Oddly enough, Uzomah was one of those in attendance that finagled Seacrest’s John Hancock.

However, the most mind-boggling, unbelievable part of this story is Ryan Seacrest drives himself around town.

The British actress played down the embarrassing event with grace and charm, noting that it could have been much worse.

Tuesday, at the blistery London premiere of “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” Watson’s dress didn’t feel like cooperating and parted inappropriately giving the entire world got a glimpse of her panties.

With typical English dryness, Watson quipped to Letterman, “At least I’m wearing underwear.”

Emma was absolutely awesome and absolutely stunning in her handling of the situation.

Yet, the entire conversation was incredibly creepy. The 19-year old Watson was discussing her exposed underwear with dirty old David Letterman—a man old enough to be her grandfather.

You got the impression that if the cameras, crew and audience weren’t around, Lettermen would have lit a cigar and said to her, “why don’t you show us what those panties look like right now.”

I shiver at the mere thought.

Sure, Watson is an adult. Not to mention that a 19-year old celebrity is really like a 38-year old adult (assuredly she spent most of her Goblet of Fire money on high grade pharmaceuticals and lost her innocence to Ron Weasley back when Tony Blair was Prime Minister). But, I’m less than half Lettermen’s age and I’m pretty sure I would find it creepy if Emma and I discussed her panties. I’m positive she would.

Besides, Watson looked very uncomfortable talking about her underwear playing peek-a-boo. Not just embarrassed but insulted that she had to explain why her knickers were exposed when she’d rather discuss U.S. relations with Iran or the possible Senate confirmation of Judge Sotomayer.

Alas, she was on America television where it’s demanded of young female celebrities to act stupid and slutty instead of intelligent and refined.

At least Lettermen didn’t joke about A-Rod knocking her up.

Bra Size Translation Scale
(A} Almost Boobs…

{B} Barely there…

{C} Can’t Complain!..

{D} Dang!…

{DD} Double dang!…

{E} Enormous!…

{F} Fake…

{G} Get a Reduction…

{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!…

The Elderly Man

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The
following conversation ensues:

Man: ‘I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70
years, many children, grandchildren, and great
grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls,
hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with
each of them three times.’

Priest: ‘Are you sorry for your sins?’

Man: ‘What sins?’

Priest: ‘What kind of a Catholic are you?’

Man: ‘I’m Jewish.’

Priest: ‘Why are you telling me all this?’

Man: ‘I’m 92 years old … I’m telling everybody.’