(And no its not because they are about to cause the toilet to swallow the cute little aisian girl below).

The reasons for this one should be obvious, but just in case you didn’t sleep last night because Aunt Becky was too loud in her banging of drunken Uncle Redneck, I’ll explain.

See, white people love to conquer. Such fact is evident in looking at history (see slavery, the holocaust and hundreds of years of war as examples). Over time, that need to conquer has been taken away from whitey. For example, slavery was abolished, it has been determined that genocide is bad, and heck, today even war has a negative connotation. The last feeling of conquest that white people are left to experience (or shall I say WERE left to experience) was the ability to freely destroy a toilet with the simple push of a sphincter muscle. But what good is conquering if you cannot see the results? Automatic toilet flushing devices rip away that valuable time that used to be spent admiring one’s own conquest by flushing it down the drain before you’ve had a chance to turn around and bask in its glory. Like I said, WHITE PEOPLE HATE automatic toilet flushing devices.

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