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White People Hate automatic toilet flushing devices.

27 October 2008 4 Comments

(And no its not because they are about to cause the toilet to swallow the cute little aisian girl 229058 White People Hate automatic toilet flushing devices.below).

The reasons for this one should be obvious, but just in case you didn’t sleep last night because Aunt Becky was too loud in her banging of drunken Uncle Redneck, I’ll explain.

See, white people love to conquer. Such fact is evident in looking at history (see slavery, the holocaust and hundreds of years of war as examples). Over time, that need to conquer has been taken away from whitey. For example, slavery was abolished, it has been determined that genocide is bad, and heck, today even war has a negative connotation. The last feeling of conquest that white people are left to experience (or shall I say WERE left to experience) was the ability to freely destroy a toilet with the simple push of a sphincter muscle. But what good is conquering if you cannot see the results? Automatic toilet flushing devices rip away that valuable time that used to be spent admiring one’s own conquest by flushing it down the drain before you’ve had a chance to turn around and bask in its glory. Like I said, WHITE PEOPLE HATE automatic toilet flushing devices.

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4 Comments »

  • Kelvin C. said:

    Sooooooo true! How else are we supposed to ensure that our digestive tracks are in tact if we cannot examine the toxic waste! Oh man, this was too gross but too funny. Even funnier is that while reading about feces there was an ad to my right about picking John McCain’s V.P….soo fitting. We need a white people hate republicans post! #13 in the making?

  • Brent said:

    This is easy. There is a sensor on the wall behind the toilet which senses when you get off of the toilet. All you have to do it cover the sensor with one hand, use the other hand to help hoist your fat white ass off of the toilet and then you can view the fruits of your labor. Still, I’ll walk a couple of extra blocks just to get to an old school toilet where I can jump up and take a few glances back at the bowl before I wipe and have to look AROUND the TP to view my work.

  • Danyelle said:

    HHHHAAAA!!! well i for one enjoy automatic flushes..im a fat ass so i have a hard enough time fitting in the stall in the first place…therefore turning around just to flush some shit(literally) is enough of a hastle as it is. Fat Asses around the world sing praise to the automatic flush…. or so this one does

  • Courtney said:

    What I really hate about automatic toilets is how they always seem to start flushing while you are STILL MAKING A POO. Then it splashes water up at you, which is the last thing I want to do when enjoying my thrice daily porcelain punishment.

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